As I think I've mentioned already, before having Eden I was never really sure that I wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. I wasn't much of a "kid" person growing up - I didn't like to babysit or even hold babies. I was (and am!) pretty terrible at all the "Suzie Homemaker" type activities: cooking, cleaning, whatever. I figured I'd always probably work part-time at least.
Then I had Eden and suddenly my career was about as interesting and stimulating as filling out forms at the DMV. I just wanted to be able to be home with her, to spend as much time with her as possible. I wanted to ensure that she was getting the best care and life experience possible. And I figured, who better to give her that than me? Who would ever be more motivated and committed?
And now, except for 10 hours a week, I am a stay-at-home-mom. And I think it was the right decision for me and for us. I don't have any desire to go back to full-time work or even to work a single hour more than I do now. I believe that every family is different, and I HATE all the judgment that flies back and forth between stay-at-home-moms and working moms (or you know, between a few individuals within both of those groups), but personally, I'm confident that I'm exactly where I should be.
However.
The transition to this new role has been surprisingly difficult at times. Even though I love it. Even though I'm confident of my choice.
While I was never ambitious or interested in climbing any sort of career ladder (I would happily stay a Librarian I forever, I think), I've always been a bit of an "achiever" personality-wise. Okay, fine. An "over-achiever" at times. Occasionally. My whole life. I was a model student, and I think for the most part (hopefully I'm not getting too big for my britches here), I was a model employee. I get immense satisfaction out of a job well done - out of a sense of accomplishment. Every good grade, successful interview, positive job evaluation, and promotion was an emotional boost - another brick in the foundation of my sense of self-worth.
But, as it turns out, there are no grades, interviews, job evaluations or promotions as a stay-at-home-mom. There's not even a paycheck. (And a paycheck, I've discovered, is a surprisingly validating thing. It's a very tangible indicator of accomplishment. "I earned this. And with this, we bought X, Y, and Z. This is what I contribute to this family. Etc.")
And the work is HARD. It requires infinite amounts of patience and self-control. (And let me tell you, working with public library patrons is not always a walk in the park. But still, not nearly as hard - at least to me.) It's often demanding and tedious and there are no allowances made for illness or lack of sleep. You always have to be "on" - and the regret that comes with the moments where you fail, where you snap at your child or don't prevent some accident that you could have prevented if you had been paying full attention, stings far worse than any botched patron interaction.
But lately it's been that lack of a sense of accomplishment that has been the hardest for me to adjust to. Every finished project is immediately undone again. Fifteen minutes after washing the dishes, dirty dishes appear in the sink. At the end of a long day of laundry, dirty clothes fill our hampers. Toys must be picked up and put away and picked up and put away and picked up and put away. I always feel slightly behind because these tasks, by their very nature, can never be fully accomplished. They are generally not stimulating and they do not require a degree to validate their worth. While librarian is not a flashy job, it still inspires interest and questions at social interactions. Stay-at-home-mom does not. And it's not because people are rude - because really, what are they supposed to say? "Oh, you clean and carpool and cook and sing the ABC's 15 times a day? How interesting! Please, tell me more about how hard it is to adjust the straps on that car seat. You cleaned up that entire diaper explosion using only two baby wipes - that is some serious skill! So what exactly are the lyrics to the second verse of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? I've always wanted to know..."
You get the point.
Philosophically, I know that I am accomplishing something. I know that what I'm doing has worth. But it's measured in a completely different way, and I miss all the attaboys and slaps-on-the-back and other affirmations that came with a career.
I've been thinking about this a lot this week. And I've been thinking about my mom too.
My mom is the hardest working person I know. She always was up working before we awoke in the morning and she was still working when we went to bed at night. She did all of the cooking and cleaning and shopping and errands and fixing of this and solving of that. We almost never ate take-out. Our house and clothes were always clean. We always had whatever we needed - even if it was something that we HAD TO HAVE for the next day of school that we didn't bother to tell her about until bedtime the night before. She did all of this even when necessity (aka our private schooling) required that she also take on a full-time job. And in exchange we took her completely for granted. We called her at work to whine that so-and-so took a toy and wouldn't give it back. We complained about being dragged to the grocery store and then made complained more about what she fixed for dinner. We expected her to help us with anything we needed help with at whatever moment we needed help. We left our dirty dishes in the sink and marched off to play games or read a book.
It never crossed our minds to wonder if she was happy or would maybe like to read a book herself. We never considered whether she had more to offer the world than folding our socks or wiping our noses. She was mom - that's what she did. That's what she always did.
Dear Mom,
Thank you for serving us day in and day out. Thank you for all that time you spent making that Halloween costume that I then refused to wear the night of Halloween. Thank you for inventing an ingenious way to make me think I was "safe" from snakes. Thank you for taking me to the library. Thank you for cooking a hundred kabillion meals for me. Thank you for reading to me when I was sick. Thank you for giving up your sleep, your right to privacy, your right to anything, for me. Thank you for all the millions and millions of ways you put my happiness before your own. And most of all, mom, thank you for never ever making me feel like you minded one second of it. Thank you for assuring me through your every word and action that I was always worth it and that there was nowhere else you'd rather be and nothing else you'd rather do. Thank you for sending me out into the world with the unshakable conviction of your unconditional love tucked into my heart.
I can never, ever, ever repay you.
Happy birthday, mom!! I love you!
Showing posts with label librarianship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label librarianship. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Resolved! I Think.
I wasn't going to make any resolutions this year. I've always been the kind of person to get carried away with them - and then NEVER keep them - which would just leave me feeling disappointed and discouraged.
This is what I mean by "carried away": for a long time I would try to make one resolution for each of the Five Dimensions of Wellness (if you were a Health Science major like I was, you know exactly what I'm talking about here). For example: Physical (usually something about exercising more or drinking more water, etc.), Mental/Intellectual (reading a certain number of books perhaps), Emotional (this was always a toughie - it's hard to remember what I might have resolved in the past for this one - keeping a gratitude journal, maybe?), Social (date nights with Peter, keeping up with friends), and Spiritual (often something to do with reading my Bible or memorizing Scripture or something). I'm not sure I ever once kept one single resolution from those lists. I meant so well! But I failed spectacularly every time.
So this year I wasn't going to make any resolutions. It seemed silly when the only result was always negative. HOWEVER, there have definitely been some things I've needed to do for quite a while, which I'd been putting off according to my typical procrastinator ways. And by the end of 2009 I found myself thinking, well, I'll just make them into resolutions and that will motivate me to take care of them when I have a fresh start in the new year.
LIES.
And yet, here I am.
It started off with just one thing - basically a task I hate and yet have been needing to take care of for some time now.
RESOLUTION 1: Make ALL doctor appointments.
For some reason that I can't explain, I HATE making appointments. HATE it. Even for things that I want to do or am looking forward to, like getting a haircut! I will put it off forever just because I don't want to call and make the appointment. Part of the problem is contained in that last sentence of course: call. I have an intense dislike for telephones. I either want to talk to you in person or e-mail you. I don't ever want to call you. Why? I'm not really sure. I have some guesses, but I don't want to get into them here because the last thing this blog needs is more random tangents. So, anyway, hatred of telephones plus dislike of visiting doctors and especially dentists equals no appointments. This needs to be rectified badly. Thus, I am resolved to make an appointment with: my primary care physician, my OB/GYN, an eye doctor, and a dentist. I also need to make an appointment for Eden with an ophthalmologist and a pediatric cardiologist (we're still waiting on the referral paperwork) as well as figure out when she needs her next well-baby appointment. Gah! That's SEVEN appointments!! I need to move on now because I can't think about this anymore.
Shortly after deciding on that first one, a couple of other things that had been on my mind for awhile got turned into resolutions.
RESOLUTION 2: Develop a habit of reading the Bible every day.
I used to do this. Then, I don't know, I got busy and tired and let's face it, ferociously mad at God a few times, and poof, there went that habit. It doesn't help that the Bible has always been a tough book for me. I love books! I love to read! But the vast majority of the time I have NO IDEA what the Biblical authors are talking about and that makes me either frustrated or bored or both. Peter reads the Bible ALL THE TIME. And not just because he's resolved to do it, although that may be true at times as well. But because he really enjoys it - and he understands it, at least a lot more than I do. He is basically a walking concordance/commentary. I'm always asking him, where's that verse about such-and-such, and he can usually correctly name the book and chapter if not the specific verse. Which is AWESOME. But I really need to stop being lazy and read for myself. I KNOW it's good for me, and I WANT to do it, but developing the habit is going to take some time. I'm not putting any additional requirements on this one: I'm not going to try to read a certain number of pages or chapters or for a certain number of minutes. But I'm going to try to read something every day, even if it's just a single verse. So far I've missed two days - mostly just because I got busy and forgot. But that's okay, because my resolution is to develop a habit - not to be perfect from the beginning.
RESOLUTION 3: Eat better and exercise more.
Snoooooooooze. I know, I know, I just typed the most incredibly generic and cliche resolution of all time. The truth is, Peter and I have been talking about how we both need to do this - and again, the new year just seemed like an opportune staring point. I realize that such a vague resolution is likely to be absolutely useless - but I'm actually keeping it deliberately vague, because I want to just try to make some small changes - any changes - and be happy with that. Again, this is more about getting started in a direction than actually accomplishing some kind of grand, fantastical goal. Because that latter thing, WON'T HAPPEN. But I know that I can do something. So right now, I'm just trying to approach it on a decision by decision basis. I'm going to Target, should I walk or drive the car? Walking is healthier, so choose to walk. I want a snack, should I choose an apple or cookie? Again, identify the healthier choice and try to make it more often than not. BUT, since I don't have to hit some specific goal, there's not as much pressure. And every time I make a healthy choice, I feel good, because I'm fully realizing my resolution with each one. I hope that makes sense. I don't think this approach will accomplish much, but if it becomes something I hate, then I also know I won't accomplish anything. So, we'll see what happens.
I was pretty much done with those three. They represent things that are both important and that have been really nagging at me for awhile. And three is a good number - enough to be significant altogether, but hopefully not enough to become overwhelming.
Then something kind of weird happened.
RESOLUTION 4: Learn to live counter-culturally and not be (as much of) a consumer.
What??
Okay, I am not that person. I am not a hippie-granola-culture-snob. (Apologies if you consider yourself one of those.) I like Starbucks. I like Target. I like television and movies and fast food and shopping malls (occasionally) and all the other normal staples of middle-class America. I would totally shop at Gap more often if the price differences between the men's clothes and women's clothes didn't send me into a fuming rage every time I was there. I am the last person on earth to ever want to utter the words counter-cultural, because I don't know... ewww. Then, all of a sudden, things began... shifting... in my mind.
It all started with my sister-in-law. (Hi Laura!)
She was telling me about this idea she had for Lent. I won't go into all of it, because I think she'll be covering it on her own blog (http://domesticgoddessphd.blogspot.com/) when Lent arrives - but in talking about her idea, we started talking about the habit of spending money. I am honestly not a big shopper. But at the same time, it's always nice to go and spend a little money. In fact, whenever I'm feeling down, one of my favorite pick-me-ups is to go and buy something. A smoothie, a brownie, a book, or a cd - something. I don't spend money that I don't have, and I don't spend outside of the parameters of our budget, but still, if I want to feel better, I spend money. And if I want to celebrate something? Same thing. Spend some money. The problem is not the individual purchases but the larger theme: buying something and being happy are definitely linked in my head. How did this happen? Who knows? I've got a couple of theories but again don't want to take the time at this point to get into it. The point is, this conversation got me thinking.
The next thing that happened was that Peter and I went to see Avatar.
First of all, I would like to say that I liked Avatar. I thought it was absolutely beautiful visually. And I enjoyed the story just fine too, despite the stereotypes and predictability and one-dimensional characters. Whatever. It's a big blockbuster movie. Remember that non-cultural-snob thing I said earlier? This is an example. I'm not looking to be enlightened, just entertained, and I thought Avatar was very entertaining.
But... it got me thinking again. It made me think about how the big bad military/company guys are portrayed as representing a culture of consumers - a society that has not learned to live within its means - a society that is more or less in the habit of consuming for consuming's sake. They no longer consume (sorry for the constant repetition of that word) to fill a real need, but almost because it has become an addiction. And in order to feed this addiction they have become hardened to the rights and needs of others - and even to the beauty in the world around them. (And yes, in the movie it was all pretty thick and heavy-handed, but again! Who cares!) What this actually made me think of was the verse from Philippians that says "...their god is their stomach..." (And since the book concordance is in the same room where Eden is sleeping right now, I had to wait until Pete, the human concordance, got home to find out the reference for that verse.)
Buying things because it makes me happy... because it's become a habit... consuming for consuming's sake... their god is their stomach. Do you see where I'm going here? All these thoughts were starting to pull together into a big knot in my mind. But I wasn't at the end of it yet.
Because then I read The Hunger Games.
Which I loved. Probably my favorite book since the Harry Potter series, in fact. I'm going to try very hard not to get too much into the details of this book because, 1) it's sci-fi, so there are a lot of details, and this post is already at legendary proportions as it is, and 2) you might want to read it (you should! you should!), and I don't want to spoil anything for you. But I'm still going to have to give a general summary so that you can follow my train of thought. I should also warn you that this is a very dark book with some pretty gut-wrenching themes and plot lines. But, that's part of the point as I think you will see.
The book takes place in the future, where somewhere in North America a new nation has risen up following a series of apocalyptic wars/natural disasters/etc. that have wiped out the world as we know it. This new nation is composed of a central Capitol surrounded by twelve Districts. The Capitol is your basic cruel totalitarian government, keeping the citizens of the Districts in poverty. Once, many years ago, the Districts had tried to fight back, but their rebellion was harshly overthrown. Now, as a punishment for this rebellion and as a reminder of the power of the Capitol over them, an annual lottery is held in which one girl and one boy (ages 12-18) are selected from each District to fight in the Hunger Games - which is essentially a fight to the death on national television.
Okay, I know right there I've lost many if not most of you. And that's okay - when I first heard about the plot, I thought it sounded completely ridiculous myself. In fact, the only real reason I finally read the book was because so many people were talking about it, and as a librarian, I feel like I really need to be on top of the book business. But somehow, crazy-sounding plot aside, the author really gets you with this book. And frankly, I found it downright eerie at times. The tributes (which is what the "contestants" in the Hunger Games are called) are brought to the Capitol from their Districts and given stylists and mentors and other staff to help them create what basically amounts to a marketing plan and carefully constructed public image. Why? Because, as the Games are aired live on television, they are not only trying to stay alive but also win over the audience. If they win over the audience, they are more likely to attract sponsors who can pay to send them supplies, etc., which will increase their odds of survival. It is all very much American Idol meets Survivor meets the Roman Empire. And it is horrifying and repulsive and alarmingly familiar. Seriously. If you've ever watched much reality television or those entertainment/paparazzi shows where the hosts shred the lives and families of complete strangers for the entertainment of their viewers, you will find this book much less far-fetched than you could ever imagine. And if you are like me, that will turn your stomach.
So. The point of all this is that I think I would really like to take some time this year to reflect on what I value and how those values may or may not always be supported by the culture around me. I don't know, maybe this all sounds really ridiculous. I mean, I did get some of this idea about not being a consumer and living counter-culturally from a blockbuster movie that is making already ridiculously rich people a billion dollars, and a bestselling novel, which is, obviously, culturally-approved. But it just seems extra important to me all of a sudden. Part of it I'm sure is because I'm a mom now. How do I teach Eden to see clearly the values and motives behind all the messages she will hear in this lifetime? How do I teach her to set a straight course through those messages based on her own understanding of what is true and right if I don't at least first model this in my own life?
I'm not planning any drastic changes honestly. I'm going to keep drinking my Starbucks and shopping at Target. For now, at least. :) But I want to think about what it means to be a consumer and what it means for your god to be an appetite. And I want to think about what it would mean to live the opposite of a consumeristic life - which, I guess, would mean a life that's lived not about taking in, but about giving out. And finally, I want to think about the ways in which I've been swept along by the not-so-good parts of the culture around me - how have I become blind and hard-hearted toward those that are hurting and oppressed? What horrors have I overlooked in my passive acceptance of the sometimes-slightly-too-shiny world I live in everyday?
At this point, I don't really know how to go about this resolution other than to, you know, think. So if you have any suggestions, I would love, love, love to hear them!! Really, I would love anyone's thoughts or (gentle) feedback about this stuff. The only other idea I've had so far is to try to find some books by people who I see as living genuine, non-consumeristic, counter-cultural lives. For example, I've ordered some books by Mother Teresa from the library. But again, thoughts/ideas/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. And, I hope this goes without saying, but I'm really just reflecting on my own life here. No matter what I decide in my own life, I don't ever want to be the kind of person who looks down on others because of their Starbucks consumption, or whatever. That would be the opposite of what I'm trying to do.
I think this may be my longest post ever. Thanks for sticking with me this far (mom). I'll try to post any updates on how things are going or any new thoughts I've had.
Until then, here's to a new year and to new resolutions!
This is what I mean by "carried away": for a long time I would try to make one resolution for each of the Five Dimensions of Wellness (if you were a Health Science major like I was, you know exactly what I'm talking about here). For example: Physical (usually something about exercising more or drinking more water, etc.), Mental/Intellectual (reading a certain number of books perhaps), Emotional (this was always a toughie - it's hard to remember what I might have resolved in the past for this one - keeping a gratitude journal, maybe?), Social (date nights with Peter, keeping up with friends), and Spiritual (often something to do with reading my Bible or memorizing Scripture or something). I'm not sure I ever once kept one single resolution from those lists. I meant so well! But I failed spectacularly every time.
So this year I wasn't going to make any resolutions. It seemed silly when the only result was always negative. HOWEVER, there have definitely been some things I've needed to do for quite a while, which I'd been putting off according to my typical procrastinator ways. And by the end of 2009 I found myself thinking, well, I'll just make them into resolutions and that will motivate me to take care of them when I have a fresh start in the new year.
LIES.
And yet, here I am.
It started off with just one thing - basically a task I hate and yet have been needing to take care of for some time now.
RESOLUTION 1: Make ALL doctor appointments.
For some reason that I can't explain, I HATE making appointments. HATE it. Even for things that I want to do or am looking forward to, like getting a haircut! I will put it off forever just because I don't want to call and make the appointment. Part of the problem is contained in that last sentence of course: call. I have an intense dislike for telephones. I either want to talk to you in person or e-mail you. I don't ever want to call you. Why? I'm not really sure. I have some guesses, but I don't want to get into them here because the last thing this blog needs is more random tangents. So, anyway, hatred of telephones plus dislike of visiting doctors and especially dentists equals no appointments. This needs to be rectified badly. Thus, I am resolved to make an appointment with: my primary care physician, my OB/GYN, an eye doctor, and a dentist. I also need to make an appointment for Eden with an ophthalmologist and a pediatric cardiologist (we're still waiting on the referral paperwork) as well as figure out when she needs her next well-baby appointment. Gah! That's SEVEN appointments!! I need to move on now because I can't think about this anymore.
Shortly after deciding on that first one, a couple of other things that had been on my mind for awhile got turned into resolutions.
RESOLUTION 2: Develop a habit of reading the Bible every day.
I used to do this. Then, I don't know, I got busy and tired and let's face it, ferociously mad at God a few times, and poof, there went that habit. It doesn't help that the Bible has always been a tough book for me. I love books! I love to read! But the vast majority of the time I have NO IDEA what the Biblical authors are talking about and that makes me either frustrated or bored or both. Peter reads the Bible ALL THE TIME. And not just because he's resolved to do it, although that may be true at times as well. But because he really enjoys it - and he understands it, at least a lot more than I do. He is basically a walking concordance/commentary. I'm always asking him, where's that verse about such-and-such, and he can usually correctly name the book and chapter if not the specific verse. Which is AWESOME. But I really need to stop being lazy and read for myself. I KNOW it's good for me, and I WANT to do it, but developing the habit is going to take some time. I'm not putting any additional requirements on this one: I'm not going to try to read a certain number of pages or chapters or for a certain number of minutes. But I'm going to try to read something every day, even if it's just a single verse. So far I've missed two days - mostly just because I got busy and forgot. But that's okay, because my resolution is to develop a habit - not to be perfect from the beginning.
RESOLUTION 3: Eat better and exercise more.
Snoooooooooze. I know, I know, I just typed the most incredibly generic and cliche resolution of all time. The truth is, Peter and I have been talking about how we both need to do this - and again, the new year just seemed like an opportune staring point. I realize that such a vague resolution is likely to be absolutely useless - but I'm actually keeping it deliberately vague, because I want to just try to make some small changes - any changes - and be happy with that. Again, this is more about getting started in a direction than actually accomplishing some kind of grand, fantastical goal. Because that latter thing, WON'T HAPPEN. But I know that I can do something. So right now, I'm just trying to approach it on a decision by decision basis. I'm going to Target, should I walk or drive the car? Walking is healthier, so choose to walk. I want a snack, should I choose an apple or cookie? Again, identify the healthier choice and try to make it more often than not. BUT, since I don't have to hit some specific goal, there's not as much pressure. And every time I make a healthy choice, I feel good, because I'm fully realizing my resolution with each one. I hope that makes sense. I don't think this approach will accomplish much, but if it becomes something I hate, then I also know I won't accomplish anything. So, we'll see what happens.
I was pretty much done with those three. They represent things that are both important and that have been really nagging at me for awhile. And three is a good number - enough to be significant altogether, but hopefully not enough to become overwhelming.
Then something kind of weird happened.
RESOLUTION 4: Learn to live counter-culturally and not be (as much of) a consumer.
What??
Okay, I am not that person. I am not a hippie-granola-culture-snob. (Apologies if you consider yourself one of those.) I like Starbucks. I like Target. I like television and movies and fast food and shopping malls (occasionally) and all the other normal staples of middle-class America. I would totally shop at Gap more often if the price differences between the men's clothes and women's clothes didn't send me into a fuming rage every time I was there. I am the last person on earth to ever want to utter the words counter-cultural, because I don't know... ewww. Then, all of a sudden, things began... shifting... in my mind.
It all started with my sister-in-law. (Hi Laura!)
She was telling me about this idea she had for Lent. I won't go into all of it, because I think she'll be covering it on her own blog (http://domesticgoddessphd.blogspot.com/) when Lent arrives - but in talking about her idea, we started talking about the habit of spending money. I am honestly not a big shopper. But at the same time, it's always nice to go and spend a little money. In fact, whenever I'm feeling down, one of my favorite pick-me-ups is to go and buy something. A smoothie, a brownie, a book, or a cd - something. I don't spend money that I don't have, and I don't spend outside of the parameters of our budget, but still, if I want to feel better, I spend money. And if I want to celebrate something? Same thing. Spend some money. The problem is not the individual purchases but the larger theme: buying something and being happy are definitely linked in my head. How did this happen? Who knows? I've got a couple of theories but again don't want to take the time at this point to get into it. The point is, this conversation got me thinking.
The next thing that happened was that Peter and I went to see Avatar.
First of all, I would like to say that I liked Avatar. I thought it was absolutely beautiful visually. And I enjoyed the story just fine too, despite the stereotypes and predictability and one-dimensional characters. Whatever. It's a big blockbuster movie. Remember that non-cultural-snob thing I said earlier? This is an example. I'm not looking to be enlightened, just entertained, and I thought Avatar was very entertaining.
But... it got me thinking again. It made me think about how the big bad military/company guys are portrayed as representing a culture of consumers - a society that has not learned to live within its means - a society that is more or less in the habit of consuming for consuming's sake. They no longer consume (sorry for the constant repetition of that word) to fill a real need, but almost because it has become an addiction. And in order to feed this addiction they have become hardened to the rights and needs of others - and even to the beauty in the world around them. (And yes, in the movie it was all pretty thick and heavy-handed, but again! Who cares!) What this actually made me think of was the verse from Philippians that says "...their god is their stomach..." (And since the book concordance is in the same room where Eden is sleeping right now, I had to wait until Pete, the human concordance, got home to find out the reference for that verse.)
Buying things because it makes me happy... because it's become a habit... consuming for consuming's sake... their god is their stomach. Do you see where I'm going here? All these thoughts were starting to pull together into a big knot in my mind. But I wasn't at the end of it yet.
Because then I read The Hunger Games.
Which I loved. Probably my favorite book since the Harry Potter series, in fact. I'm going to try very hard not to get too much into the details of this book because, 1) it's sci-fi, so there are a lot of details, and this post is already at legendary proportions as it is, and 2) you might want to read it (you should! you should!), and I don't want to spoil anything for you. But I'm still going to have to give a general summary so that you can follow my train of thought. I should also warn you that this is a very dark book with some pretty gut-wrenching themes and plot lines. But, that's part of the point as I think you will see.
The book takes place in the future, where somewhere in North America a new nation has risen up following a series of apocalyptic wars/natural disasters/etc. that have wiped out the world as we know it. This new nation is composed of a central Capitol surrounded by twelve Districts. The Capitol is your basic cruel totalitarian government, keeping the citizens of the Districts in poverty. Once, many years ago, the Districts had tried to fight back, but their rebellion was harshly overthrown. Now, as a punishment for this rebellion and as a reminder of the power of the Capitol over them, an annual lottery is held in which one girl and one boy (ages 12-18) are selected from each District to fight in the Hunger Games - which is essentially a fight to the death on national television.
Okay, I know right there I've lost many if not most of you. And that's okay - when I first heard about the plot, I thought it sounded completely ridiculous myself. In fact, the only real reason I finally read the book was because so many people were talking about it, and as a librarian, I feel like I really need to be on top of the book business. But somehow, crazy-sounding plot aside, the author really gets you with this book. And frankly, I found it downright eerie at times. The tributes (which is what the "contestants" in the Hunger Games are called) are brought to the Capitol from their Districts and given stylists and mentors and other staff to help them create what basically amounts to a marketing plan and carefully constructed public image. Why? Because, as the Games are aired live on television, they are not only trying to stay alive but also win over the audience. If they win over the audience, they are more likely to attract sponsors who can pay to send them supplies, etc., which will increase their odds of survival. It is all very much American Idol meets Survivor meets the Roman Empire. And it is horrifying and repulsive and alarmingly familiar. Seriously. If you've ever watched much reality television or those entertainment/paparazzi shows where the hosts shred the lives and families of complete strangers for the entertainment of their viewers, you will find this book much less far-fetched than you could ever imagine. And if you are like me, that will turn your stomach.
So. The point of all this is that I think I would really like to take some time this year to reflect on what I value and how those values may or may not always be supported by the culture around me. I don't know, maybe this all sounds really ridiculous. I mean, I did get some of this idea about not being a consumer and living counter-culturally from a blockbuster movie that is making already ridiculously rich people a billion dollars, and a bestselling novel, which is, obviously, culturally-approved. But it just seems extra important to me all of a sudden. Part of it I'm sure is because I'm a mom now. How do I teach Eden to see clearly the values and motives behind all the messages she will hear in this lifetime? How do I teach her to set a straight course through those messages based on her own understanding of what is true and right if I don't at least first model this in my own life?
I'm not planning any drastic changes honestly. I'm going to keep drinking my Starbucks and shopping at Target. For now, at least. :) But I want to think about what it means to be a consumer and what it means for your god to be an appetite. And I want to think about what it would mean to live the opposite of a consumeristic life - which, I guess, would mean a life that's lived not about taking in, but about giving out. And finally, I want to think about the ways in which I've been swept along by the not-so-good parts of the culture around me - how have I become blind and hard-hearted toward those that are hurting and oppressed? What horrors have I overlooked in my passive acceptance of the sometimes-slightly-too-shiny world I live in everyday?
At this point, I don't really know how to go about this resolution other than to, you know, think. So if you have any suggestions, I would love, love, love to hear them!! Really, I would love anyone's thoughts or (gentle) feedback about this stuff. The only other idea I've had so far is to try to find some books by people who I see as living genuine, non-consumeristic, counter-cultural lives. For example, I've ordered some books by Mother Teresa from the library. But again, thoughts/ideas/suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. And, I hope this goes without saying, but I'm really just reflecting on my own life here. No matter what I decide in my own life, I don't ever want to be the kind of person who looks down on others because of their Starbucks consumption, or whatever. That would be the opposite of what I'm trying to do.
I think this may be my longest post ever. Thanks for sticking with me this far (mom). I'll try to post any updates on how things are going or any new thoughts I've had.
Until then, here's to a new year and to new resolutions!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Brief Update
Now that our lives are so full of activity, there's never much time for even a brief update, but I didn't want to go too much longer without checking in.
Eden continues to amaze us! She is crawling like crazy, she pulls herself up to a stand on anything - and she can stand well even while just holding on with one hand or even just slightly leaning against the couch (or whatever). She cruises (inching her way along the coffee table, couch, or exersaucer). She clearly knows that the remote does funny things to the TV (turning to look at the TV when she plays with it in expectation). She seems to love other children and babies - at church she kept crawling after a 15-month-old and trying to pull herself up by grabbing his clothes (he was a little alarmed). She also likes to try to mimic them - if they are banging on a toy, she needs to go over and pat the same toy too. Her sense of humor is developing - she now often laughs if we sneeze or yawn or make funny faces. If you stick your tongue out at her, she will try to reach up and grab it, and sometimes she'll try to stick her tongue out too. She is so much fun!! Exhausting to keep up with, but very, very fun!
I continue to feel torn in two - I don't dislike my job or working, but I hate not getting to spend more time with the cuddle-bug. She continues to have separation anxiety, and actually is starting to get a little suspicious of all strangers now. Leaving her to go to work is the most difficult part of my day, especially if she seems sad or upset. This last week especially she has been having trouble sleeping again - not wanting to nap at all and waking up multiple times at night (and then not wanting to go back to sleep). This has happened before and seemed to eventually resolve on its own, so I'm hoping that will be true this time as well - and I'm hoping it will happen soon!
Next week is Holy Week - one of my favorite times of the year. And the week after Easter we are taking a trip to Yosemite!! I'm so looking forward to spending time away, just the three of us. I'm hoping that it will truly be a relaxing and peaceful experience. I love my little family!! Here's a funny picture of our little cutie - if I can figure out how to post the video Peter made of her crawling, I will put it up soon!
Eden continues to amaze us! She is crawling like crazy, she pulls herself up to a stand on anything - and she can stand well even while just holding on with one hand or even just slightly leaning against the couch (or whatever). She cruises (inching her way along the coffee table, couch, or exersaucer). She clearly knows that the remote does funny things to the TV (turning to look at the TV when she plays with it in expectation). She seems to love other children and babies - at church she kept crawling after a 15-month-old and trying to pull herself up by grabbing his clothes (he was a little alarmed). She also likes to try to mimic them - if they are banging on a toy, she needs to go over and pat the same toy too. Her sense of humor is developing - she now often laughs if we sneeze or yawn or make funny faces. If you stick your tongue out at her, she will try to reach up and grab it, and sometimes she'll try to stick her tongue out too. She is so much fun!! Exhausting to keep up with, but very, very fun!
I continue to feel torn in two - I don't dislike my job or working, but I hate not getting to spend more time with the cuddle-bug. She continues to have separation anxiety, and actually is starting to get a little suspicious of all strangers now. Leaving her to go to work is the most difficult part of my day, especially if she seems sad or upset. This last week especially she has been having trouble sleeping again - not wanting to nap at all and waking up multiple times at night (and then not wanting to go back to sleep). This has happened before and seemed to eventually resolve on its own, so I'm hoping that will be true this time as well - and I'm hoping it will happen soon!
Next week is Holy Week - one of my favorite times of the year. And the week after Easter we are taking a trip to Yosemite!! I'm so looking forward to spending time away, just the three of us. I'm hoping that it will truly be a relaxing and peaceful experience. I love my little family!! Here's a funny picture of our little cutie - if I can figure out how to post the video Peter made of her crawling, I will put it up soon!
Friday, March 6, 2009
True Confessions
These aren't pretty. Read at your own risk.
Since going back to work I usually get about 5 hours of sleep a night in 2 and 3 hour stretches. When people who know I have a baby ask how much sleep I'm getting and I tell them, they almost always comment on how good that is. True confession: I want to smack these people. I realize that it could be much worse. I personally know a lot of moms who have it much worse. In fact, I know a lot of people period who for various reasons only get that much sleep (or less) on a regular basis. But I feel terrible - physically, mentally, emotionally. Constantly. Is that really so great? Yes, it could be worse, and I'm very glad it's not. Yes, sleep deprivation is a well-known aspect of motherhood which I freely chose. And yes, it is absolutely, completely, 100% worth it, to get to be a mom. But to me, five hours of sleep is a burden that I continuously struggle to bear the best I can. And being congratulated on it is salt in the wound.
When I was a teenager I had to give my dog away because I couldn't take care of her well. (We rented our house and weren't allowed to have pets inside - and she was a breed of dog which needed a lot of attention and exercise which I was too busy to give her.) I still feel a ton of regret about that situation, and when I married Peter I told him we would NEVER get pets unless we were willing and able to take care of them no matter what for their entire lives. True confession: despite all that, I would probably give my two cats away today if I knew I could find them a good home. I love my cats. They have great personalities, and have brought us a lot of joy. And we've stuck firmly to our commitment to care for them: even when we moved to California and almost couldn't find an apartment that we could afford that would allow pets, and even when their food issues have meant regular loss of sleep. (They are big time over-eaters and will come wake me up very early every morning, basically begging for food.) But this morning, after they woke me up at 4:11 am and kept me awake until Eden woke up at 6:00 am, I reached a breaking point. Despite all my values and guilt and good intentions, I CANNOT take it anymore. I just don't have the reserves to care for them on top of everything else. And it's not their fault. And it's not fair. But they are currently at the bottom of my list of responsibilities and priorities, and I feel like something's got to give.
I just spent thousands of dollars getting a master's degree in a profession that's all about helping people. True confession: More often than not (and especially in the last year or two), I'm not sure I actually like helping people. I'm not sure I'm good at it either. I see others in my profession who are passionate about public service. They always seem to be patient and non-judgmental. They are great advocates for their patrons. But many of the people who come in to the library every day are mean, rude, impatient, lazy, and self-centered, and more and more it irks me to help them. I honestly don't know what to do about this. I don't know how to regain the positive and helpful attitude I had when I started my career.
While I'm sitting here typing this, the trashcan, sink, and Diaper Champ are overflowing. My microwave and kitchen counters are downright crusty. The bed is unmade. I get frustrated at my family for contributing to the above circumstances. I am jealous of moms who seem to be able to stay on top of all these things (and cook real dinners, and exercise, and spend time with friends). But I also assume that they must have some advantage that I don't (and I'm even more jealous of that advantage). I think I assume this just because it makes me feel less like a failure. Feel free to pick out the true confession of your choice there. :)
I'm sorry this post is such a downer. But let's be honest, if you know me at all you know I'm not exactly a happy-go-lucky personality - I'm much, much more of an Eeyore than a Tigger or Pooh. (Surprisingly, people - like many of you! - still choose to be my friend. Thanks for that! It means a lot to me.) If I was to list a last true confession I might make it that I can't decide if a tendency toward pessimism and Eeyore-ness is actually a bad thing. It's not a useful thing, for sure. I'm generally better off when I work at being positive and optimistic. But I can't decide if it's an actual flaw to be ruthlessly rooted out or just an amoral personality trait to accept without personal condemnation or judgment. The sticking point to me is this - the vast majority of people I know who are happy-go-lucky and generally optimistic, don't actually seem to work at it - it just comes naturally, like a tendency toward gregariousness or even athleticism. Where's the merit in that? I'm glad that they have traits that probably make life easier, but I'm not sure those traits could actually be considered virtues. Thus, I'm not sure it's accurate to label the opposite traits as flaws. But then again, I can also think of arguments for the reverse. So, I can never fully decide. If you have an opinion on this, feel free to leave a comment, because it's a topic I find rather curious.
And that's enough confessing for today. :)
Since going back to work I usually get about 5 hours of sleep a night in 2 and 3 hour stretches. When people who know I have a baby ask how much sleep I'm getting and I tell them, they almost always comment on how good that is. True confession: I want to smack these people. I realize that it could be much worse. I personally know a lot of moms who have it much worse. In fact, I know a lot of people period who for various reasons only get that much sleep (or less) on a regular basis. But I feel terrible - physically, mentally, emotionally. Constantly. Is that really so great? Yes, it could be worse, and I'm very glad it's not. Yes, sleep deprivation is a well-known aspect of motherhood which I freely chose. And yes, it is absolutely, completely, 100% worth it, to get to be a mom. But to me, five hours of sleep is a burden that I continuously struggle to bear the best I can. And being congratulated on it is salt in the wound.
When I was a teenager I had to give my dog away because I couldn't take care of her well. (We rented our house and weren't allowed to have pets inside - and she was a breed of dog which needed a lot of attention and exercise which I was too busy to give her.) I still feel a ton of regret about that situation, and when I married Peter I told him we would NEVER get pets unless we were willing and able to take care of them no matter what for their entire lives. True confession: despite all that, I would probably give my two cats away today if I knew I could find them a good home. I love my cats. They have great personalities, and have brought us a lot of joy. And we've stuck firmly to our commitment to care for them: even when we moved to California and almost couldn't find an apartment that we could afford that would allow pets, and even when their food issues have meant regular loss of sleep. (They are big time over-eaters and will come wake me up very early every morning, basically begging for food.) But this morning, after they woke me up at 4:11 am and kept me awake until Eden woke up at 6:00 am, I reached a breaking point. Despite all my values and guilt and good intentions, I CANNOT take it anymore. I just don't have the reserves to care for them on top of everything else. And it's not their fault. And it's not fair. But they are currently at the bottom of my list of responsibilities and priorities, and I feel like something's got to give.
I just spent thousands of dollars getting a master's degree in a profession that's all about helping people. True confession: More often than not (and especially in the last year or two), I'm not sure I actually like helping people. I'm not sure I'm good at it either. I see others in my profession who are passionate about public service. They always seem to be patient and non-judgmental. They are great advocates for their patrons. But many of the people who come in to the library every day are mean, rude, impatient, lazy, and self-centered, and more and more it irks me to help them. I honestly don't know what to do about this. I don't know how to regain the positive and helpful attitude I had when I started my career.
While I'm sitting here typing this, the trashcan, sink, and Diaper Champ are overflowing. My microwave and kitchen counters are downright crusty. The bed is unmade. I get frustrated at my family for contributing to the above circumstances. I am jealous of moms who seem to be able to stay on top of all these things (and cook real dinners, and exercise, and spend time with friends). But I also assume that they must have some advantage that I don't (and I'm even more jealous of that advantage). I think I assume this just because it makes me feel less like a failure. Feel free to pick out the true confession of your choice there. :)
I'm sorry this post is such a downer. But let's be honest, if you know me at all you know I'm not exactly a happy-go-lucky personality - I'm much, much more of an Eeyore than a Tigger or Pooh. (Surprisingly, people - like many of you! - still choose to be my friend. Thanks for that! It means a lot to me.) If I was to list a last true confession I might make it that I can't decide if a tendency toward pessimism and Eeyore-ness is actually a bad thing. It's not a useful thing, for sure. I'm generally better off when I work at being positive and optimistic. But I can't decide if it's an actual flaw to be ruthlessly rooted out or just an amoral personality trait to accept without personal condemnation or judgment. The sticking point to me is this - the vast majority of people I know who are happy-go-lucky and generally optimistic, don't actually seem to work at it - it just comes naturally, like a tendency toward gregariousness or even athleticism. Where's the merit in that? I'm glad that they have traits that probably make life easier, but I'm not sure those traits could actually be considered virtues. Thus, I'm not sure it's accurate to label the opposite traits as flaws. But then again, I can also think of arguments for the reverse. So, I can never fully decide. If you have an opinion on this, feel free to leave a comment, because it's a topic I find rather curious.
And that's enough confessing for today. :)
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Catching Up
Time for a long overdue update. The last time I posted was before Thanksgiving and a lot has happened since then. So here's the Hough House news in (not-so) brief:
During the week before Thanksgiving we got to see my brother Zach for a few hours, and Eden got to meet her second relative outside of her parents. We went to lunch and later took some pictures and watched The Office together – a nice, relaxing visit if too short.
On Thanksgiving we had a wonderful potluck dinner with a whole bunch of friends. Delicious food and good times were enjoyed by all. We also watched Elf on the biggest "magic box" (any television, computer, or in this case, projector screen) Eden had ever seen. It was cute seeing her stare at the screen with big eyes. She was a hit as always. I think the only time I held her was to feed her. I also think our little extrovert is going to introduce us to more new people than we would ever get to know on our own. On a side note, it was Thanksgiving last year that we found out we were pregnant with Eden - crazy.
On Friday we were able to spend a few hours with Peter’s dad and his wife who were in California visiting family. It was fun to catch up with them and introduce Eden to another one of her grandparents. Saturday we had another potluck dinner with friends where I learned that strawberries dipped in sour cream and then brown sugar taste really good. You wouldn't think so, but they do actually.
Last Thursday I finished and turned in my final assignment for my graduate degree. I've already heard back from my professor about my grade so I can officially announce that I will finally graduate with my Master's! What a weight off my shoulders! I enjoyed many aspects of graduate school and definitely learned a lot, but I am so, so, sooooo glad it's over. Especially now that I have Eden. I know multi-tasking is a valued skill in our culture, but I personally think it's overrated. I'm all for focusing on just a few important things at a time. And I really want to enjoy these last few weeks with Eden before I go back to work in January.
On Friday, Peter, Eden, and I packed up and headed to Murrieta Hot Springs to the Calvary Chapel Conference Center for our church's annual retreat. Because we had a baby we got our own room, but it was kind of funny because it was a room with 6 twin beds! The facilities and grounds were very nice - much nicer than we expected. We definitely weren't roughin' it out in the boonies. I was a little concerned about how easy it would be to participate in the activities with Eden, but I think Peter and I found a nice balance that allowed each of us to get some rest and some time with friends. The retreat center has pools for the natural hot springs scattered all over its property, so I got my first experience relaxing in one. It was interesting because the pools are naturally all different temperatures - the first one we tried was so hot that one of my friends named it The Mouth of Hell. We found a much nicer one on our second try. We also got to try an 80-person hot tub that was on the property. Honestly, I liked the hot tub better - the temperature is more consistent, it doesn't turn your silver rings colors (oops), and it doesn't reek of sulphur. I suppose the hot springs might be better for you since they're not full of chlorine, but really, that sulphur smell is quite an obstacle. Once again Eden took the new surroundings like a champ and got lots of attention.
We got back from the retreat on Sunday night, and Eden and I tried to take it easy on Monday. Monday night, however, was Peter's holiday party at work, so we put Eden in her new Christmas dress (she was the most adorable thing I've ever seen) and headed to the dinner. I think we finally hit Eden's limit for new activities (poor baby) because she became the exact opposite of her usual extroverted self and cried anytime a new person came up to her! She passed out toward the end of the evening. Thankfully, the rest of our week is quiet except that she gets her second round of shots on Thursday. Poor, poor baby!
I was hoping things would slow down for us a bit, but I don't think that's going to happen. We are flying to Missouri a week from Saturday so I'm basically trying to cram all Christmas shopping, decorating, card mailing, etc. into the next few days. I'm already realizing that I'm just going to have to let some stuff go or else I'll stress myself out and go insane (and probably take my family with me). So if you get your Christmas card in January, I apologize! I'm simultaneously excited and scared for our trip. It will be great to see our families, but the whole four-month-old-on-a-plane-during-the-holidays does not sound like fun. I also imagine living out of a suitcase for 10 days will be a bit of a challenge - after all, we filled the car with stuff just to take Eden to a fancy conference center.
I'll try to post again before our trip, but that may not happen if things continue at this crazy pace. So just in case, I'll end by wishing you all a merry Christmas and happy holidays! I'll try to post some pictures of Eden from the last few weeks below.
Acting squirrely:
Back from a walk with daddy:
Who me?
Visiting with Uncle Zach...
...and Grandpa Hough!
Working hard with mommy on her final project for her Master's degree:
During the week before Thanksgiving we got to see my brother Zach for a few hours, and Eden got to meet her second relative outside of her parents. We went to lunch and later took some pictures and watched The Office together – a nice, relaxing visit if too short.
On Thanksgiving we had a wonderful potluck dinner with a whole bunch of friends. Delicious food and good times were enjoyed by all. We also watched Elf on the biggest "magic box" (any television, computer, or in this case, projector screen) Eden had ever seen. It was cute seeing her stare at the screen with big eyes. She was a hit as always. I think the only time I held her was to feed her. I also think our little extrovert is going to introduce us to more new people than we would ever get to know on our own. On a side note, it was Thanksgiving last year that we found out we were pregnant with Eden - crazy.
On Friday we were able to spend a few hours with Peter’s dad and his wife who were in California visiting family. It was fun to catch up with them and introduce Eden to another one of her grandparents. Saturday we had another potluck dinner with friends where I learned that strawberries dipped in sour cream and then brown sugar taste really good. You wouldn't think so, but they do actually.
Last Thursday I finished and turned in my final assignment for my graduate degree. I've already heard back from my professor about my grade so I can officially announce that I will finally graduate with my Master's! What a weight off my shoulders! I enjoyed many aspects of graduate school and definitely learned a lot, but I am so, so, sooooo glad it's over. Especially now that I have Eden. I know multi-tasking is a valued skill in our culture, but I personally think it's overrated. I'm all for focusing on just a few important things at a time. And I really want to enjoy these last few weeks with Eden before I go back to work in January.
On Friday, Peter, Eden, and I packed up and headed to Murrieta Hot Springs to the Calvary Chapel Conference Center for our church's annual retreat. Because we had a baby we got our own room, but it was kind of funny because it was a room with 6 twin beds! The facilities and grounds were very nice - much nicer than we expected. We definitely weren't roughin' it out in the boonies. I was a little concerned about how easy it would be to participate in the activities with Eden, but I think Peter and I found a nice balance that allowed each of us to get some rest and some time with friends. The retreat center has pools for the natural hot springs scattered all over its property, so I got my first experience relaxing in one. It was interesting because the pools are naturally all different temperatures - the first one we tried was so hot that one of my friends named it The Mouth of Hell. We found a much nicer one on our second try. We also got to try an 80-person hot tub that was on the property. Honestly, I liked the hot tub better - the temperature is more consistent, it doesn't turn your silver rings colors (oops), and it doesn't reek of sulphur. I suppose the hot springs might be better for you since they're not full of chlorine, but really, that sulphur smell is quite an obstacle. Once again Eden took the new surroundings like a champ and got lots of attention.
We got back from the retreat on Sunday night, and Eden and I tried to take it easy on Monday. Monday night, however, was Peter's holiday party at work, so we put Eden in her new Christmas dress (she was the most adorable thing I've ever seen) and headed to the dinner. I think we finally hit Eden's limit for new activities (poor baby) because she became the exact opposite of her usual extroverted self and cried anytime a new person came up to her! She passed out toward the end of the evening. Thankfully, the rest of our week is quiet except that she gets her second round of shots on Thursday. Poor, poor baby!
I was hoping things would slow down for us a bit, but I don't think that's going to happen. We are flying to Missouri a week from Saturday so I'm basically trying to cram all Christmas shopping, decorating, card mailing, etc. into the next few days. I'm already realizing that I'm just going to have to let some stuff go or else I'll stress myself out and go insane (and probably take my family with me). So if you get your Christmas card in January, I apologize! I'm simultaneously excited and scared for our trip. It will be great to see our families, but the whole four-month-old-on-a-plane-during-the-holidays does not sound like fun. I also imagine living out of a suitcase for 10 days will be a bit of a challenge - after all, we filled the car with stuff just to take Eden to a fancy conference center.
I'll try to post again before our trip, but that may not happen if things continue at this crazy pace. So just in case, I'll end by wishing you all a merry Christmas and happy holidays! I'll try to post some pictures of Eden from the last few weeks below.
Acting squirrely:
Back from a walk with daddy:
Who me?
Visiting with Uncle Zach...
...and Grandpa Hough!
Working hard with mommy on her final project for her Master's degree:
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
It Pays To Be A Librarian
So I know that librarianship is not a career option at the top of most people's lists - it definitely hangs out under the radar. Often when I tell people that I'm a public librarian the response I get is one of pleasant surprise. Sort of, "Oh yeah, I forgot that people did that," or maybe even, "Oh yeah. Libraries. I went to one of those once." (The second response is usually, "It sure must be nice to read all day!" To which I reply (silently, of course): Ha! I wish.)
But let me tell you, despite the hazards of daily working with the possibly entirely insane general public, there are definitely some perks to this job. One of those perks is sitting on the table next to me: an advance reading copy of The Host by Stephenie Meyer. Now, if you've never heard of the The Host or Stephenie Meyer, then I assume you are either a) not a girl between the ages of 12-18, or b) not in the young adult book (or library) business. In other words, 99.9% of the people reading this blog. However, believe me, there is a sizable group of individuals out there (again, mostly adolescent girls) who would quite happily push me in front of a moving vehicle for a chance to get their hands on this book before its May 2008 release. I know because the last time Stephenie Meyer released a new book (Eclipse, for those who are curious), I attended a book signing event at Pasadena's fabulous Vroman's Bookstore. I had heard a little about this book and about how popular the Twilight series was (of which Eclipse is the third book) and I thought I would be a good public librarian and go hear the author speak.
I was unprepared. It was an early Saturday morning but I might as well have been at a concert for some popular boy-band. First of all, the courtyard was packed (yes - courtyard - there being about 10 times too many people to fit indoors). Secondly, every girl there was either in costume as one of the characters or sporting a homemade t-shirt proclaiming her love for the characters, the books, Stephenie Meyer, or some other related theme. Some of them had driven (or forced their parents to drive) for hours to be there. Many had arrived and set up camp 4 or more hours before the event was to begin. When the author appeared on stage the screaming was so intense that she couldn't be heard at all for several minutes. It was intense - and also a little surreal for the only person there who was not either a parent or 14 years old.
To be honest, I didn't even think they would be giving out advance reading copies of The Host. (By the way, advance reading copies are usually uncorrected proofs of a soon-to-be-released book sent to reviewers, bookstores, and libraries to generate publicity and sales.) Publishers usually only seem to send these copies for new authors or books that they don't have confidence will sell well or be "discovered" on their own. (In other words, no advance reading copies of Harry Potter.) But I guess since this book is not only not a part of the Twilight series, but also (gasp!) science fiction, the publishers decided a little extra marketing and promotion might not hurt. Frankly, I don't care. I'm just excited to exercise one of my librarian perks and read a book a month before it becomes available to everyone else (regardless of whether or not the story is any good - I actually expect it to be mediocre). So there you go, people - it pays to be a librarian!
Now if only I could find the time to read.
But let me tell you, despite the hazards of daily working with the possibly entirely insane general public, there are definitely some perks to this job. One of those perks is sitting on the table next to me: an advance reading copy of The Host by Stephenie Meyer. Now, if you've never heard of the The Host or Stephenie Meyer, then I assume you are either a) not a girl between the ages of 12-18, or b) not in the young adult book (or library) business. In other words, 99.9% of the people reading this blog. However, believe me, there is a sizable group of individuals out there (again, mostly adolescent girls) who would quite happily push me in front of a moving vehicle for a chance to get their hands on this book before its May 2008 release. I know because the last time Stephenie Meyer released a new book (Eclipse, for those who are curious), I attended a book signing event at Pasadena's fabulous Vroman's Bookstore. I had heard a little about this book and about how popular the Twilight series was (of which Eclipse is the third book) and I thought I would be a good public librarian and go hear the author speak.
I was unprepared. It was an early Saturday morning but I might as well have been at a concert for some popular boy-band. First of all, the courtyard was packed (yes - courtyard - there being about 10 times too many people to fit indoors). Secondly, every girl there was either in costume as one of the characters or sporting a homemade t-shirt proclaiming her love for the characters, the books, Stephenie Meyer, or some other related theme. Some of them had driven (or forced their parents to drive) for hours to be there. Many had arrived and set up camp 4 or more hours before the event was to begin. When the author appeared on stage the screaming was so intense that she couldn't be heard at all for several minutes. It was intense - and also a little surreal for the only person there who was not either a parent or 14 years old.
To be honest, I didn't even think they would be giving out advance reading copies of The Host. (By the way, advance reading copies are usually uncorrected proofs of a soon-to-be-released book sent to reviewers, bookstores, and libraries to generate publicity and sales.) Publishers usually only seem to send these copies for new authors or books that they don't have confidence will sell well or be "discovered" on their own. (In other words, no advance reading copies of Harry Potter.) But I guess since this book is not only not a part of the Twilight series, but also (gasp!) science fiction, the publishers decided a little extra marketing and promotion might not hurt. Frankly, I don't care. I'm just excited to exercise one of my librarian perks and read a book a month before it becomes available to everyone else (regardless of whether or not the story is any good - I actually expect it to be mediocre). So there you go, people - it pays to be a librarian!
Now if only I could find the time to read.
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