Our Trip To The Mountains

Every year Peter goes on several school-related retreats and conferences, and until this year, I've never been able to go with him. This Saturday, however, I was able to head up with him to a retreat center in Forest Falls, California. We spent Saturday afternoon, all of Sunday, and Monday morning in the mountains and got back home Monday afternoon. I didn't take a single picture, but here's a quick summary of our experience:

First of all, I was overwhelmed by all the stuff you have to pack to take a baby anywhere overnight! Eden easily had more luggage than Peter and I combined, even though I actually worked really hard to only bring her "essentials." In a way I think I did a good job because we thoroughly used every single item that I packed for her with the exception of a couple of small items like some extra onesies and a receiving blanket. In fact, she could have used some more clothes as a couple of minor diaper leaks limited our already small supply of warmer wear for her.

A day or two before the trip we went shopping and bought an extremely cute pair of pink corduroy overalls with a long-sleeved shirt, hoping it would be a good outfit for the cooler temperatures and that it also might last her a few months - in case it ever gets cooler here at home (doesn't seem like that's ever going to happen at this point). We held the outfits up to her in the store and selected the one that seemed like it would give her a little growing room. Well when we put the outfit on her on Saturday, it looked like she was wearing capris! I don't know if the clothes shrunk that much in the wash (they were still plenty big around) or if we just have an exceptionally long baby or both, but I was so disappointed I wanted to cry. The outfit went from looking super cute to looking slightly ridiculous, and it will honestly be a miracle if she ever wears it again. So sad. I've been trying to be economical and restrain myself from buying her cute clothes except for special occasions, so the whole situation was a bit of a blow to me. When she later got her other warm outfit dirty I resorted to putting her in a onesie and hat and just wrapping her up in a big fluffy blanket anytime we left the cabin. She seemed happy either way so I guess it was okay. She did get to wear this extremely cute little white coat that someone gave her - it also will be too small the next time she needs it, but it was fun for the weekend.

Our cabin was very nice and close to the dining hall and meeting center. The only disadvantage was that it was split duplex-style and the dividing door/wall was very thin. So when the people in the adjoining side spoke in anything above a whisper you could hear what they were saying word for word like they were standing right behind you - and unfortunately, our neighbors were rather loud talkers. When they first moved in I was alone in the cabin with Eden and was startled at how clearly I could hear their (rather embarrassing) conversation. I started chatting with Eden hoping they would hear me and realize how thin the walls were. It didn't seem to work. They also stayed up talking way past the camp's "lights out" time, so between that and Eden's regular nocturnal feedings, I only got 2 hours of sleep the first night and 4 the next. Needless to say, I was exhausted! But this was really the only difficult part of our trip at all.

The weather and surroundings were beautiful! It was so nice to feel something like autumn. I had a great time getting to know some of Peter's students and spending time with his coworkers and our friends. We saw some wildlife (Peter saw a bear wander through camp!), and I was able to see the stars through the cabin's window as I was putting Eden to bed. Eden made lots of friends of course. I hardly held her anytime I was out of our cabin - she was almost constantly surrounded by a crowd of fans.

One of the highlights of the trip for me was that I went on the camp's zip line! I had always wanted to ride on a zip line, but I have a fear of heights and I was nervous about the initial jump off the platform. (I was pretty sure once I was going I would be okay.) Peter and I and two of our friends, Jacob and Skip, got in line and as we got closer to the platform I found myself looking for excuses to avoid the experience. Peter was holding Eden and I decided that I would just offer to take her back to the cabin to feed her so that he could ride the zip line in my place (what a martyr!). However, the line started moving more quickly and when I stumbled through my offer he pointed out that he could just meet me at the bottom of the line, and I would still be able to take Eden back to the cabin just as quickly - and that he would rather see me go than go himself. I think he knew I was scrambling for an escape.

The next thing I knew I was getting strapped into the harness and was climbing the spiral staircase (almost as scary as you could easily see through the gaps in the metal steps and it swayed near the top) to the top of the platform. (I'm not good at guessing measurements, but Peter says he thinks the platform was probably at least 3o feet in the air - way too high for someone like me.) I honestly was so scared at that point that I had tears in my eyes - I just tried to stare at my feet or the posts or my harness - anything but the giant space that I was shortly going to have to jump off into. There were actually 4 lines that ran simultaneously so I was able to go at the same time as Jacob and Skip. I never would have made it otherwise - they were so encouraging! The camp staff person at the top of the platform (who was also very encouraging - I made him assure me twice that I was strapped in properly and wouldn't die) strapped us all in and then did a short countdown and told us to jump. I didn't let myself think at all, just quickly walked to the edge and stepped off into the air - and the next thing I knew I was flying down the valley, surrounded by some beautiful mountain scenery and hearing Peter's students (who were waiting in line at the base of the platform) cheering for me. It was a wonderful experience! Like I expected, I was fine once I was sliding down the line, and I was honestly so proud of myself for doing something I found terrifying. I think if I did it again I would be almost just as scared, but knowing I had done it once before would certainly help.

The truth is being a mom has changed and is changing me in a lot of good ways and the zip line experience is one great example of that. Eden was my motivation as I was strapped into the harness, climbed the stairs, stood (shaking) on the platform and stepped off into space. I kept thinking that I could never tell her not to be afraid, or to have courage to face her fears, if I wasn't willing to be a model of those behaviors for her. I wanted to do the zip line for myself, and there was a certain bit of pride involved in not wanting to look silly by bailing at the last minute, but it was definitely Eden that got me through the experience. Just another of the unexpectedly powerful parts of my experience as a mom.