Thoughts For Monday

To continue my pattern of stealing things from other people's blogs, today I'm going to post a list of thoughts for the day/week/month/however long it's been since I last posted. They will be in no particular order other than the order in which they come to my mind. Which frankly might prove interesting to those of you with psychology degrees. (All one of you.) Or not. But there's only one way to find out so here goes:

1. My last post is the closest I've ever come to regretting putting something on my blog. It was honest and nobody has been weird or mean about it or anything, but I still wonder if it might have been a tad too... heavy? For the average reader who's just stopping by for some more cute pictures of Eden? If so, I apologize. I definitely had a spidey-sense that what I wrote might have caused a bit more concern among some than I intended. (I intended zero. Zero concern units.) Of course, it was also probably not wise to blog about feeling depressed and then just sort of drop off the Interwebs for awhile, but sometimes I'm just busy doing normal life stuff and don't feel particularly like writing or can't really think of anything interesting to write about (not that that has really ever stopped me before), and then suddenly I realize how much time has passed and it's: oh yeah, my blog - maybe I should post something quick before everyone (including myself) forgets the address.

2. In other news, I am okay. Nobody worry.

3. Depression still stinks though, just in case anyone was wondering. Thought I'd clear that up for you in case you were going to guess the opposite or something.

4. We bought a new car! Well, you know, new to us. I think it will work well for us as long as we never need to drive anyone taller than... me... anywhere. So, that's good, no?

5. It really should be more fun to spend thousands of dollars on something. Like at least one hundred times the thrill you get when you buy something you didn't even know you needed on clearance at Target. Right? Am I crazy here? (Do not answer that question.) Frankly, this whole used-car-buying-experience was pretty much no fun at all. I feel a smidge cheated in that department.

6. Mother's Day was very nice. We had a picnic in the backyard. Eden bought me a balloon. I think I'll keep her. :)

7. Apparently I don't do a lot of thinking because coming up with this list is proving much harder than I expected.

8. Tomorrow night is the Mother-Daughter Banquet at church. Wednesday my newest nephew will be born. Thursday we leave for a week in California. Friday I may need a caramel frappuccino injected straight into my veins. (But, because we will be in Southern California, that will only require walking to the corner - pretty much any corner.) I may or may not need to immediately follow that up with a fish taco. SoCal friends, take note.

9. I bought a swimsuit online in a fit of desperation. It is supposed to arrive tomorrow. I'm already 95% sure that I will be returning it. Why oh why did I ever buy that Raging Rivers season pass for me and Eden? Couldn't I just have bought a kiddie pool for the backyard and called it a day?

10. There's a pan of chocolate brownies on the table with my name on it. I mean, I'm returning the swimsuit anyway, right?

Adios!

60(ish) days in 60 seconds

Okay, it's been a lot more than 60 days! Whatever! (Can I still say that? Do people still say that? What if I don't make the W symbol with my hands while saying it, would that mean it's still cool?)

Welcome to the I-just-can't-skip-over-a-couple-months-without-feeling-guilty post. Which might also be another glimpse into my OCD(ish!) leanings.

In short, here's what you've missed in the life of this crazy family over the last few months:

October:

• Our good friend Shanelle visited!
• For Halloween Eden dressed up as Curious George and Pete dressed up as The Man in the Yellow Hat. I was Professor Wiseman. We went to a Trunk-or-Treat at our church. It was kind of a disaster. (That is, our little family was a disaster - not the church event.)

November:

• Pete and I had a quick get-away to Pere Marquette State Park. I think. I can't find any evidence of this on the calendars, but I seem to remember it happening...
• Peter flew to California for about 5 days to speak at an ACSI conference. Eden and I were lonely but survived.
• We spent another couple of days at Pere Marquette with the rest of the church staff and their families for a staff retreat.
  
• Peter was the speaker for the Fall Renewal Weekend at our church, speaking 5 times over three days. He did a great job.
  
• We spent Thanksgiving Day with Peter's family in Kansas City and then the following Saturday with my family in St. Louis.

December:

• We made an ultimately-successful offer on a house! At some point in the previous few weeks we had actually made unsuccessful offers on two other houses, so this really felt like a reason to celebrate (and also a bit surreal).
• A seemingly endless procession of house-related inspections, tests, decisions, and paperwork kicked into gear.
  
• Eden got her first round of stomach-flu.
• I spent 24 hours feeling pretty miserable myself (aches, fever, exhaustion) but counted myself lucky to have escaped the vomiting. Sadly...
  
• I got the stomach flu on Christmas Eve. I did not escape the vomiting. I did, however, miss the Christmas Eve service at church, as well as Eden unwrapping and enjoying many of her presents. Boo. To. That.
  
• We spent Christmas Day at my brother's house in St. Louis with most of my immediate family as well as my maternal grandparents. (I was in quarantine on the love seat.) I did get to see Eden unwrap an avalanche of presents from all her generous relatives. I think she may now own some version of every toy ever made.
• We spent several more days at my other brother's house in St. Louis, generally hanging out and recovering from a busy month. It is so nice to live around family again.
• We did a kid swap with my brother and his wife - watching their son for 24 hours so they could see a movie and enjoy some time to themselves and then leaving Eden with them for the next 24 hours so that we could do the same. We saw True Grit, ate sushi, and slept in. I cannot begin to express how wonderful this was.
  
• We went to see Peter's family in Kansas City for New Year's Eve/Day. I left the party early to tuck Eden into bed but stayed up so I could see the ball drop on television. Unfortunately, I got distracted by a movie on another channel (true confessions: it was The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants**) and didn't remember to click back over until 3 minutes after the ball had completed its descent. Perhaps as payback for this stupidity my body refused to go to sleep until 4 o'clock in the morning.

January:

• We were delighted with a brief visit from some of our favorite people in the world, the Shive family.
• I got the stomach flu again.
• We closed on our house! Oh happy day!
• The real work began as we decided to do a few, small renovations before moving in at the end of the month.
• Our renovation project list went from 1) refinishing the bedroom floors to, 2)refinishing the bedroom floors, upstairs landing, and stairs, to, 3) refinishing all the floors in the house except for the kitchen and bathroom to, 4) refinishing all the floors except for the kitchen and bathroom and knocking out (and then partially rebuilding) a wall. Oh and we're also going to repaint half the house. And sell our stove so that we can have a gas range instead of an electric one.
• It snowed a gazillion inches and now isn't supposed to get above freezing for another week. This may or may not be causing the slow erosion of my soul. But Eden made her first (and second) snowman!
  

Renovations are only halfway completed and only three boxes have been packed, but in theory we're moving next weekend!

And now you're all caught up.

**The tagline for this movie is: "Laugh. Cry. Share the pants." Yes, I am serious. I am so ashamed.

Easter Shenanigans: A Recap

Warning: 80,000 photos below. I'm a terrible decision-maker (and exaggerator) under ordinary circumstances and we just got back from walking a billion miles all around downtown Los Angeles (a story for another time). So, I have no energy to put into the photo culling process today.

My apologies.


Here's a recap of a few of our Easter activities:

We got dressed up and had a photo shoot.

Then we went on an Easter egg hunt.

Eden tasted chocolate covered raisins for the first time.

Then we decided to go for a walk...

...and smell some flowers...

...and jump on rocks...

...and ride up and down the escalator. (Always a favorite activity for one of our group.)

It was good.

Now for a nap. But first, my submission for the world's cutest first Easter egg hunt. (Also, Eden occasionally disappears from view in the following video due to a fascination with the screen on the back of the camera. It's a constant problem.)

Flashback Friday: Happy Easter Edition

Easter 2008:

Easter 2009:

Easter 2010 pictures coming soon hopefully!

Gethsemane

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death," he said to them. "Stay here and keep watch."

Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." - Mark 14:32-36 (NIV)


Do you know that experience where you read or hear something a million times and then one day you read/hear it again and all of a sudden notice something completely new?

I had that experience recently with regard to the above verse - specifically in the words that Jesus prays. I guess I only really payed attention to the "not what I will, but what you will" part before. I think I figured it was the part we were supposed to pay attention to. (It's also worth noting that the prayer is not recorded the same way across the four gospel books.)

Recently however, I was struck by the first two sentences of this prayer.

"Abba, Father, everything is possible for you."

True confessions? Sometimes I try to prop up my weak faith by making excuses for God. I tell myself that the reason that God doesn't answer all my prayers or the reason a horrible, evil thing is allowed to happen, is that God has put limitations on Himself in order to allow free will, or something along those lines. I am not a theologian and there are probably all kinds of things theologically wrong with that thought. But I honestly don't even need to hear those more educated reasons because deep down I already know this "excuse" is flawed. I know it, because I see evidence to the contrary every day. God thwarts the will of mankind all the time. The Bible is full of these stories.

In this prayer, Jesus, without any sort of disclaimer or conditional statements, claims all things as possible for God. And who would know better what God is capable of than God Himself?

But it's the pairing of that first sentence with the second that gets me.

"Take this cup from me."

Do you know what I see now when I read this passage of Scripture?

I see a dearly loved only child, coming to his father, in deep distress and agony. He knows the horror that awaits him in just a few short hours. He know his father knows too.

I know you can save me from this, he states. I'm asking you to save me from this.

What must Jesus have felt when praying that prayer? What must God the Father have felt in hearing it? And more, what must He have felt in answering it? Because we all know what answer He gave.

I read this prayer, and I think back through so many of the prayers I have prayed in my lifetime. I think in particular of some of the more desperate prayers, the ones where I felt deeply distressed and overwhelmed with sorrow. And I think of the pain and agony of not having that prayer answered by Someone I know had the power to save. He could have said yes. All things are possible for Him.

And now I read this prayer and I think, even in this, He went before me. Even this pain, for my sake, He knows.


Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. - Hebrews 12:2-3 (NIV)

Valentine's Day in Pictures (and Video)

Belated Holiday Hoopla

I apologize for not updating the blog in awhile. Peter had two weeks off of work for the holidays, and we were busy enjoying as much family time as possible. We didn't travel anywhere for Christmas or New Year's but instead spent a nice, quiet, peaceful holiday at home. We missed family, but it was wonderful not having the stress of traveling with a baby. I was so sad when it was all over, and Peter had to head back to work. We'd had such a wonderful time!

Anyway, I don't really feel that motivated to post all the little details of what we did each day, and I doubt it would be that interesting to you. But everyone likes photos, so here are a few that highlight our holiday experience:

Eden in her Christmas dress. (This was taken right before we went to the staff holiday party at my library, at which Eden badly scratched my eye with her fingernail causing it to sting and water for the rest of the day. I think we had to leave after we'd only been there about 15 minutes.)

Sadly, I have almost no photos of Christmas day. Instead I have a 20 minute video of Eden "unwrapping" her presents. This was a big mistake as trying to upload said video to my computer almost killed it. Also, to put the video on YouTube so that I could add a link here for those interested (aka, Gramma) would probably take an entire day if it didn't first finish killing off my computer in the process. Lesson learned: take a series of short videos in the future instead of one ridiculously long one. Even better: just take pictures so that the obnoxious sound of my own voice is not recorded for posterity. (On a side note, I recently discovered that I only have 2 GBs of unused memory left on my computer. The rest is largely taken up with photos of Eden. Around 3500+. Yikes.)

The only photo from Christmas day showing both Eden and our Christmas tree:

One of my favorite things about living in Pasadena is all the hoopla around New Year's. I love the crowds of people sleeping on the sidewalk the night before the Rose Parade, the parade itself, the beautiful floats, the Rose Bowl Game, and all the excitement that these activities bring to the city. We always try to walk down to Colorado Boulevard on New Year's Eve to see the revelers camped out all along the street. I brought my camera with me this year, but it was too dark to get any good shots (and I felt weird about turning my flash on and thus making it abundantly obvious that I was taking pictures of people).

The two dark figures in the front are Peter (pushing Eden's stroller) and our friend, Megan:

Again, it's tough to make out, but the sidewalks are packed with people on both sides of the street. (And keep in mind that the parade route is about 5 miles long.)

On the walk back to our apartment, I took this picture of City Hall:

On the morning of New Year's Day, we had a relaxed breakfast then walked back down to Colorado Boulevard with Eden to see part of the parade. Here's a photo of the crowd as well as a float (a trolley car made of flowers) making its way down the street:

This is a view of the opposite direction, back toward our apartment. The building you see at the end of the street, right before the mountains, is my library:

We probably spent 30 to 45 minutes watching the parade, and without a doubt, I can tell you Eden's favorite part.

It wasn't the zebras or giraffes...

...or the dragon...

...or the beautiful balloons.

Nope. None of those.

What did Eden point out to us over, and over, and over again?

This.

That's right. The Goodyear Blimp.

We take Eden to see one of the most visually stunning parades in the United States, and she becomes obsessed with the Goodyear Blimp.

Would you like to guess what Eden's second favorite part of the parade was?

Actually, I think it was a dog some guy had in a carrier behind us, but the jet flyover was a hit as well.

On our walk home, we passed the police command center set up in front of the library. On New Year's Eve, the area was swarming with people in uniform, but by this time on the First it was pretty empty - I suppose they had all dispersed to their various posts.

And that's about it!

Actually, last night was another big event here in Pasadena - the BCS National Championship Game. We took several walks yesterday in Old Town, through the crowds of Texas and Alabama fans, but I didn't have my camera with me to take any pictures. I guess that was the last of the holiday-related excitement until next year.

Here are two people I am very, very happy to be going into the year 2010 with:

Happy New Year everyone! May both this new year and this new decade be full of peace and joy for all of you! And may you have every good thing that your heart desires, with perhaps a few unexpected good things thrown in as well.

"Sounds great. Where's my blimp?"

Family Photo

I'm having a very Eeyore-y kind of day, so I'm not going to write much. Just wanted to post a picture that we took last night for our Christmas card. Peter actually got a bunch of really funny shots of Eden being silly last night - they're all on his camera right now, but hopefully I'll be able to post a few soon. Today has involved a lot of tantrum-throwing, hitting, and general fussiness so I wouldn't mind seeing a few of those photos again myself.

Until then...


May your days be merry and bright!

Title? Who Has Time to Think of a Title?

Can I just start this post off by saying the most unoriginal thing ever?

Things have been really busy around here.

Ahhhh. Okay, I feel better. Meanwhile, all of you out there are probably smacking yourselves in the head and thinking, "Are you kidding me?? Hello! It's December! That statement also accurately describes the week of every other human being on the face of the planet."

And really, do we even need December for an excuse? When are things ever not busy?

But I have no intentions of using this blog post for a philosophical reflection on the ever increasing pace of life (except to say, "It's all technology's fault! Also, we should get rid of phones. The End.") What I will use this post for is to catch you up on the goings-on of our family over the last week.

First of all, Eden has been busy destroying the house multiple times a day. This is probably her favorite activity now, apart from trying to hug the cats (to death) and pointing out the fact that she has a nose. (And mama has a nose! And daddy! And the cats! Look mama, nose! Nose, nose, nose!! Also, please bend down so that I can stab you in the nose with my sticky index finger.)

Here are a few images from a recent episode of Destroying the House (version Thursday morning, 9:02 am):

The other big news from the past week is that we went on a retreat with Christian Assembly Friday evening through Sunday morning. The retreat was in Forest Falls, California, at Forest Home - the same place where we've been twice before with retreats for Peter's school. (See here and here.) The speaker for this retreat was Tony Campolo. He was great. Think cantankerous old man with a passion for social justice and the poor. A very engaging and funny speaker with a knack for making challenging statements and starting controversy. He definitely made me stop and think about my life and whether or not I'm living up to what I say I believe. For that (and all the funny stories), I really appreciated the chance to hear him.

I think this was our best trip yet with Eden. We didn't get a ton of sleep the first night but did much better the second. She seemed to have a great time running around outside and playing with the other kids. And even the car rides to the retreat center and home were largely tantrum-free. Overall, it was a fantastic weekend to be together as a family, enjoy the mountains, and spend time with friends.

And now... Christmas!!!! I put off almost all Christmas preparations until after our trip. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (No, I have no idea why.) But it hit me on Monday that there are less than 3 weeks left until Christmas. Three weeks. In which we need to purchase, set up, and decorate a Christmas tree as well as decorate the rest of the apartment. Take a Christmas-y family photo and order and then address/mail Christmas cards. Finish making all presents for my family. (This was actually my idea: that we would make small presents for each other this year. It was a great idea too - except for the part where we decided to make presents for EVERYONE in the family instead of drawing names like last year. I've now calculated that I have enough free time to spend exactly one hour on each present in order to get them wrapped and in the mail in time for Christmas Day. Welcome to here's-a-bookmark-with-Eden's-face-on-it-which-you-must-love-and-cherish-forever-because-it-has-Eden's-face-on-it. Thus it is perfect. No complaining.)

Sooooo, guess I should wrap up this little blog post and start cracking on some bookmarks. (Side note to my dear, sweet family: please act surprised about the bookmarks*. Thank you.)

And, to those of you who responded to my bloggy comments about feeling down lately and my worries regarding the possibility of Depression, The Return: thank you. I really, really mean it - thank you. Your e-mails and encouragement and just all-around loveliness are good for my soul. Right now we are sticking with the old-fashioned remedies of more sleep, quality time with friends and family, and a determined attempt at positive thinking** (a.k.a. counting my blessings). This Eeyore is not the best at the last method, but this may also be one of those times where the effort really does count for a whole lot. Other than that, we are just taking it one day at a time. And honestly? So far, so good. I won't say that I'm feeling all better, but I'm not feeling any worse either. And I'm grateful for that. So, thank you! Again!

The baby is sleeping and the dishes await - good evening all!

*No, you are not really getting bookmarks. You are getting something much cooler and more thoughtful. As soon as I figure out what that is. And make it. In one hour.
**Late addition to the list: more eggnog. This is definitely essential.