Hello, Goodbye*

So I think we can all agree that my attempt at blog-as-baby-book has completely and finally failed.

Dear children, I love you, but apparently not enough to faithfully record all the silly, funny, heartwarming, profound, and also (occasionally) annoying, ridiculous, and mind-boggling things you do.  I would like to believe that this is because I was/am too busy living all those moments with you and soaking up your fleeting childhood to take time to document properly.  We all know that this is not entirely true, but I think it is a good story none-the-less, and I'm sticking with it.

So, here we are.  It is time to say a bloggy goodbye.  I'm sure this will be confusing to my "readers" (haha!) - kind of like when you see on the news that a celebrity has died and feel completely bewildered because you were sure they'd already died at least five years ago.  But no worries.  I am about to make it even more confusing by announcing that this blog is officially over - but also, not!

I am definitely giving up on the online baby scrapbook plan.  That is kaput.  BUT.  I do have something kind of big and exciting (at least to me) that I'm going to try to do this year, and I'm going to be using this blog as a platform for that project.  But after that, goodbye! 

I will share more about my project/goal in another post.  But before we dive into that story, I thought I should post an update on the cast of characters here in the Hough House.

First up: Peter, my partner in crime.

What can I say?  I married a good man.  Pete spends most of his time leading the church plant that he helped, well, plant, a year or so after we moved here from California almost 4 years ago now.  I am biased, of course, but he is doing a fantastic job.  He is probably the smartest person I actually know, plus he's kind and funny and cute to boot.  I am constantly quoting his sermons to myself and others, and not infrequently to him as well, which is odd, I suppose.  But he always challenges me and gives me a lot to think about while also being my sounding-board for all things.  I know it is said a lot about best friends and spouses, but Peter makes me a better person.  A waaaaay better person.  I am privileged to have a front row seat to his life and thoughts.

Second: Eden, my first-born, my delightfully 5 1/2 year old daughter.

I once said God created coffee just so I had a hope of keeping up with Eden.  I still think there is a good chance that is true.  Eden is exactly what she has always been: a glorious supernova of intelligence, determination, and sensitivity.  She is dramatic and competitive: uncertain and anxious at times, confidently commanding at others.  She reads books I didn't even know existed until I was several years older than her.  She loves animals and if you ever need to know how to tell the difference between a leopard and a jaguar, or what you call a baby platypus, she's your girl.  Living with Eden is like exploring a new frontier: occasionally fraught with conflict and drama and exhaustion but also beautiful and unexpected and wonderfully unforgetable.

Third: Asher, my comedian, my sweet almost-two year old son.

Asher is my cuddle-bug, my snuggler, my lover of all things-that-go.  He cannot leave the house without a toy car or truck or train in hand.  He loves things that ROAR, whether that is a motorcycle, T-Rex, or tiger.  As he approaches his twos, we are seeing more of the infamous Hough stubbornness and flair for drama, but he is still in many ways much more laid-back and flexible than his sister (and, let's be honest, his mother).  We cannot wait for Asher to start talking as it is very clear the gears are chugging away in all sorts of delightful ways in that shaggy head of his.  That being said, Asher has never seemed to be in a hurry for anything (except going outside - if you open the door to the great outdoors you'd better be prepared to block a twenty-something-pound toddler from stumbling through it).  In many ways, I think Eden sees milestones as personal challenges for her to conquer and control - opportunities for victory; I suspect Asher cannot possibly be bothered with anything so mundane as what other people think is important.  Undoubtedly, they both give me a run for my money on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, while also being tiny, bouncy pinpricks of light through which the glory of heaven shines in all its beauty.

Hough House bit characters: Two cats, Sheba and Pudge, the thirteen year old banes of my existence.  One rabbit, Flopsy, the three year old bunny who I'm actually pretty fond of, mostly because he confines his messes to the backyard as opposed to the interior of my house.

And that's that!  Life in our small-town cottage is currently frenetic and tedious, alarming and exhilarating and mundane - an adventure and a lot of work all at the same time, just as yours is, I imagine.  I am thankful for it, and I am trying will all my might to learn how to cherish it and how to give it away.

 *One of my all-time favorite Beatles' songs.  Also, a notorious ear-worm. (So, sorry if you clicked on the link.  Except not sorry because the song is awesome.)

For The Beauty

For the beauty of the earth,

For the glory of the skies,

For the love which from our birth,

Over and around us lies;

Lord of all, to thee we raise,

This our hymn of grateful praise.

Happy Fall everyone!

 May you go out in joy and be led forth in peace. May the mountains and hills burst into song before you. And may all the trees of the field clap their hands.

(From Isaiah 55:12)

Things I Love: Kitchen Update Edition

I recently got a new dishwasher!  Sadly, I do not have a photo of the new dishwasher.  It pretty much looks like every dishwasher you have ever seen, except in black.  (Unless the dishwasher you were picturing in your mind was already, in fact, black in color.  In which case it looks exactly like that.)

We do not have a ton of cabinet space in our kitchen.  We used to have four cabinets, and now that we have a new dishwasher, we are down to only three.  This can make storing basic kitchen items (pots, pans, dishes, food - in case you weren't certain what "basic kitchen items" referred to) challenging.  Fortunately, my smart, handsome, and talented husband was up to the challenge.  He designed and built this handy-dandy spice rack on the back of our basement door (which is conveniently located next to our stove):

He was assisted in his task by an extremely adorable little helper:

I cannot get over their respective cuteness.

Recognition

A week or so ago, something very small happened, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

It was just an ordinary day, and we were home doing ordinary things about the house. And Peter said or did something. And it was just something small - so much so that the actual substance of the word or action slipped from my mind before even a few minutes passed. But I remember that it made me feel loved and loved in a very specific way.

This has not been an easy year for us. It is easier now than it was just a few months ago, but still, I often reach the end of a day feeling empty and weary - feeling as if I have battled for every good thing and feeling, in my bones, that that same battle will be waiting for me tomorrow. And Pete has worked hard to love me well during this time. I know it. I've seen it. And when he did whatever small thing it was that he did a week or so ago, it made me feel loved, and it made me think about this specific love he has shown me - this love that is patient, and gentle, and soft-spoken, and long-suffering - this staunch, sturdy love that is ever-present and also, quiet, undemanding, agenda-less. And I thought about all this love a bit absently as I sorted mail, or stacked dishes, or whatever it was I was doing that day, until I became aware of some little mental pinging in my brain, growing louder until it brought me up short. It was a strong sense of recognition or remembering - an acute feeling of, "Wait, I know this... I've felt this way before...what does this remind me of?"

And it clicked, and I remembered, and I recognized:

Jesus. This love reminds me of Jesus.

I know this love, I recognize this love, because it's the same Love that comforted me as a child. It's the same Love that hunkered down with me at the bottom of a pit of depression, and then, when I was ready, took my hand and pulled me out. It's the same Love that shouldered my pain in an apartment bathroom on an early July morning. And it's the same Love that has walked with me since, whispering, "Courage!" in my ear during all the heart-breaking moments of this year. It is not a generic love - it is specific, it is recognizable, it has a face, and once you have really encountered it, you do not forget.

So. I just want to say to you, husband, whenever it is that you read this blog, that even when I'm not looking for it or thinking of it, you remind me of Jesus.

And that is no small thing.

This Anniversary Goes to Eleven

Friday was our anniversary. Blogger did not get their act together in time for me to post something on the actual day. (I haven't been able to log in to this ol' blog since last Tuesday. Based on their Known Issues, I wasn't the only one having trouble with Blogger. There were times I felt quite a bit of frustration about this, since I have - prepare yourselves - four blog posts ready to go, but then I remembered, wait I don't actually pay anything for this service. And in about four years, I've never really had any problems. So at that point I decided to just go ahead and keep my mouth shut.) Unfortunately, I also did not get my act together in time to do, well, pretty much anything else on the actual day.

So, this is how it went:

"Happy anniversary, honey! I got you the present of spending zero of your hard-earned dollars on any of those fancy-schmancy gizmos all the guys have these days. Also, whatcha want to do today?"**

This is what we did:

Pretty much nothing. At least in the morning. At least nothing that I really remember. I think there might have been doughnuts. (You'd think I would remember doughnuts. I feel a little ashamed.) Then we got Eden ready and took her over to a friend's house to hang out and be responsibly cared for and napped while we high-tailed it to Edwardsville for a movie (scarfing down McDonald's on the way. Note to self: scarfing McDonalds is not a good idea. Please do not repeat.) We saw Thor. Why? Because we had some Groupon movie tickets that were about to expire and that was the only movie playing anywhere near us that fit into the appropriate child-free time range. And Pirates of the Caribbean IV was/is getting even more terrible reviews. And I like Natalie Portman.

However:

Natalie Portman let me down. Actually the movie is fine. You know what I mean, for a super-hero action flick. The special effects were very pretty but the dialogue was frequently horrendous, and I spent a good chunk of the film kind of hoping the bad guy might actually win and annihilate every once else. Perhaps especially Thor and Natalie Portman, I am sad to say.

After the movie we drove to the home where Eden was staying, picking up pizza along the way. We ate dinner with our friends and spent the rest of the evening researching places to stay for our July road trip to General Conference. All in all, it was a pretty quiet day. Not especially notable in any particular way, at least not in comparison to how we were able to celebrate our tenth anniversary. (Go here for Day Two.)

I had mixed feelings about that.

The truth is marriage is really hard sometimes. (I know, I know, alert the media.) It involves a lot of sharing: sharing of money, food (this is here because I really do not like people eating my french fries), closet space, personal space in general, responsibility, years of life, etc. Sharing is mostly awesome (or so we tell Eden), but sometimes, not so much. Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to do things my way. Sometimes, I want it to be all about me. And we see evidence of this whole marriage-is-hard thing around us all the time. So, because of that, I think wedding anniversaries should be celebrated, and frankly, celebrated BIG. Because it's a big deal.

On the other hand, there was something slightly soothing about the relatively-quiet-and-simple approach. Eleven years. It's like a groove now, this daily working out of our vows to each other. Most of the time, it works. And even when it doesn't work, even when we both feel capable of quite cheerfully strangling the other person, even then I know, this is right. So right for me. So right for us. So right for this little family that I love with all my heart.

Happy anniversary, Pete! Last year, we were just a ten - thanks for helping me put it up to eleven. I love you!


**This is a variation of one of Eden's current favorite phrases. I hear, "Mama! Whatcha gonna do today?" or "Mama! What we gonna do today?" all the time. And I know you think I'm exaggerating, but I am NOT. Not only do I get this question first thing in the morning, but also while we're getting dressed, eating breakfast, immediately after discussing what, in fact, we are going to do today, during every single car ride everywhere, at the library, grocery store, park, backyard, and not infrequently, as we are getting her ready for bed. It has replaced, "What's happening?" as the phrase most often heard in this house. In case you can't tell, it sometimes leaves me feeling a little frazzled.

California (The Return)

We just got back from a week in California. We flew out on Thursday, the day after my newest nephew, Elias (Eli) Jack Wiedlocher was born. Eden did very well on the plane (for which some credit must definitely be given to the creators of Wall-E and Smarties). Since we had seen that the weather was about to get a little chilly and rainy (for almost the exact duration of our stay) we took advantage of the sunshine on Friday morning and headed to the beach. As you already know, Eden has been talking about the beach since before Christmas. I'm happy to report that reality seemed to live up to her expectations - to say that she had a good time would be an incredible understatement. She loved every second of it. We dug holes in the sand and buried ourselves, we built castles, we found sea shells, and Eden and Pete even took on the freezing cold Pacific Ocean and spent time playing in the waves. She cried when we left. She asked to go back almost every day after that. Unfortunately, the weather forecast turned out to be pretty accurate so we weren't able to return. But I'm glad she had so much fun. It was definitely a great morning and probably my favorite memory of the whole trip.

It was also great to see many of our friends. We spent almost every moment of the rest of our week hanging out with friends and eating. Seriously. Luz and Patrick's wedding was awesome - Pete did a great job officiating his first wedding ceremony, and Eden did a great job looking cute and getting covered in dirt. The wedding reception was catered by some delicious taco place, and we got to pig out on carne asada and rice and beans and guacamole and horchata and holy moly do I love Mexican food. Luz was beautiful, the newlyweds were adorable, and we were so glad to get to celebrate with them. We hung out with many more friends over the next several days, and continued to eat our way through Southern California, making stops for In-N-Out, sushi, Starbucks (multiple times), Intelligentsia, Jamba Juice, Baja Fresh, and afternoon tea at The Chado Tea Room. Sadly, I never made it to Rubios for my favorite fish taco, but I guess that just means we'll have to plan a return trip soon.

Thank you so much to all of our friends who hosted us and took us out for dinner and cooked us meals and made time in your schedules to come see us and let us borrow your vehicles, etc. We were so glad to see all of you and spend a little time in the city where Eden was born and where we spent eight years of our lives. At one point, as we were driving home from a restaurant after a great dinner with friends, we pulled up to an intersection just a few blocks from our old apartment - and intersection I've probably sat at a hundred times - and for a fleeting second I had the feeling of, "oh good, we're almost home." But we weren't of course - home is in a new place now: in a house instead of an apartment, in a small town instead of a major city, in a region of green grass and spring thunderstorms instead of desert and mountains and ocean. I love our new home, and I was so very glad to come back to it yesterday, but I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Pasadena and Southern California. I wish I could somehow live in both places at once, and I most definitely wish that we could always live surrounded by all of our friends. But I'm so thankful for the memories we made on this trip.

And I'm so, so thankful that I get to be with these two, wherever they are:

Take Two

Well, this is not the photo post that I intended to put here.

Some very big life news had not made it on this blog yet. We found out right before Thanksgiving that we were going to have another baby! We held off announcing anything until we could tell my family in person at Christmas, and then we waited a little longer until we had passed the 12 week mark and were solidly into the second trimester. A few weeks ago we had the joy of announcing our good news at church and to our farther-flung friends over facebook. Since pretty much everyone who reads this blog is a friend of mine on facebook (as far as I know) it actually didn't immediately occur to me to post the news here - and when it did, I thought maybe I would just wait a few more weeks until we had the Big Ultrasound where you find out gender and then roll all the news into one big happy post.

Unfortunately, this past Friday at my routine appointment we found out that our baby's heart had stopped beating. I thought we had passed all the worry-points: the first trimester when the vast majority of miscarriages happen and the 14/15 week mark when our first miscarriage occurred. I had even thought I'd started feeling movement in the previous week and was in fact, sure that I'd felt the baby move just a day or two before. Friday morning I saw a few faint drops of blood after using the restroom first thing in the morning. (So sorry for what is almost certainly too much information.) It caused me some anxiety as my first miscarriage began the same way and as I've had no other bleeding of any kind in this or any other pregnancy. However, some spotting is supposedly not uncommon throughout pregnancy, and as all other trips to the restroom that morning resulted in no additional spotting (which was not true during my first miscarriage), I was able to keep my worry in check. I mentioned it to Peter and he was mildly concerned but not really worried and we headed off to my OB appointment.

We knew this should just be a quick, routine appointment: get in to see the doctor, hear the heartbeat, ask any questions we might have, and go on our way. The only real question I had was about the spotting I had seen earlier that morning, so I mentioned it to the doctor right off the bat as he was pulling over the Doppler device to listen for the heartbeat. He asked a few follow-up questions but didn't seem overly concerned, just as I had expected. I laid back and prepared to hear the heartbeat that would be the real reassurance I needed.

It didn't come. He patiently moved the device back and forth over my stomach and once caught the sound of my own pulse but even I could tell the difference. I remember at one point that he said he thought he heard movement. He asked if it had been hard to find the heartbeat before. It hadn't. He said that sometimes they can just be tricky to find and that he would go start the ultrasound machine so that we could see the baby and the heart. At the very end he caught my eye and quickly stated that he wasn't worried.

I didn't really believe him. I was pretty sure he was just saying that to try to make me feel better, but I tried to accept it and tried to believe it. Maybe there wasn't a reason to worry. Maybe this was just all going to be a good story - a little scary bleeding in the morning, followed by an appointment where it was hard to hear the heartbeat - just a good story for demonstrating the certain orneriness of any child of ours. I even tried to quickly cheer myself up with the thought that maybe this would be a chance to find out the gender 3 weeks early. It didn't really work. When the doctor left the room I tried to choke back some sobs as Peter patted me on the back. We didn't talk, just waited for the ultrasound.

Almost as soon as our baby was on the screen I knew something was wrong. He looked beautiful - we could clearly see so many features that had developed since our first ultrasound. But he was completely still, not a finger moved. And I knew that wasn't right. We silently watched the screen as the doctor tried different methods for checking the heart and bloodflow. I'm not sure exactly what the first thing he said was or when he said it, but I heard his, "I'm sorry," loud and clear and immediately put my hand over my face and sobbed. Peter held my other hand. I managed to pull it together and listened as the doctor discussed the next possible steps. I remember I asked him if he was absolutely sure. He said he was and then very carefully walked me through everything he could see with the ultrasound that proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that our baby was no longer alive.

The next hour or so was the roughest. We made plans to drop Eden off at my brother's house in St. Louis and then head back to check into the hospital for the induction. We had the choice of waiting, but Peter didn't want to, and considering our last experience, I certainly couldn't blame him. The doctor left the ultrasound room to give us some privacy, and I sobbed some more. Eden asked why mommy was sad, and Peter told her that we were sad because we found out the baby was gone and that we weren't going to get to see it or hold it soon. We had a family hug and she patted my head and kept asking me if I was sad. She asked this a few more times in the van on the way to St. Louis with a few more questions about the baby being gone. At one point she told me not to be sad - that I could have another baby soon. She was so surprisingly gentle and sweet for a toddler who couldn't possibly really understand what was going on, and her presence was a great comfort to me.

We dropped Eden off with my sister-in-law and were in the process of trying to figure out how to break the news to my mom when she called to inform us that my older brother had been involved in an accident and was in the hospital having surgery on his foot which had been badly damaged. As terrible as it might sound, this additional bad news had one good effect in that it snapped me out of a world that had rapidly shrunk down in the previous hour to the size of my own individual pain. I felt overwhelmed but also as if I could breathe and think again. I guess it gave me some needed perspective.

I don't want to drag this story on forever. We checked into the hospital. Everyone was very kind. At around 5 pm they started the induction process. Our baby boy was born at 1:44 am Saturday morning. Peter and I got to spend a few minutes holding him for which I was very grateful. Our doctor arrived to assist with the end of delivery and then we got a couple hours of sleep. We checked out of the hospital at around 10:30 am that morning, went home to shower, and then headed to St. Louis to see my mom and Eden. Today we are all home together again in our new house.

Just as before, except for those first few horrible hours, the real pain is only now slowly beginning. There's something about the initial activity that helps keep the pain back. You're distracted, focused on the needs at hand. But now I'm home and there's not a single thing to do that involves my baby. It's life as usual except for the huge gaping wound that is me in the midst of it.

We named him Judah St. John. That has been his name all along so it wasn't a hard decision. Back in the fall as another month passed in which we didn't get pregnant (we had been trying, yet again, for over a year), I had stood at the bathroom mirror and wondered almost absently to myself if we would ever have another baby. And it was almost as if I heard another voice in my head reply, "Yes. You will have a son, and you will name him Judah." I wondered if it was just me talking myself, a sort of internal pep talk. Judah seemed like kind of a strange name though, a bit out of the blue. I had always loved the story of the naming of Judah in the Bible, but he was also a bit of a notorious character - not necessarily someone you would want to name your child for. I mentioned it to Peter, and we both kind of thought, well, we'll see if it's even a boy... But over the course of my pregnancy we both started to think of the baby as a boy and as Judah, and every time someone made a guess as to gender, they also always guessed boy.

Judah means praise. In Genesis 29:31-35, you can find the beginning of his story. Leah, a woman whose husband does not love her, gives birth to four sons in a row. The first three she gives names that all have meanings connected to her hope that her husband will now love her for what she has given him. But on the birth of her fourth son, she states, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah. For some reason, even as a child I loved this story. I loved that Leah stopped trying to earn her husband's love and just decided to praise God for what he had given to her. I loved that it was out of the line of Judah that Jesus was born. Out of praise came Redemption. Out of praise came Love.

We had tossed around ideas for middle names, but had trouble coming up with anything that seemed to fit with Judah. At one point, I suggested we choose the name of someone we admired. Peter suggested St. John, which I thought was kind of neat, since the Apostle John (who refers to himself as the "disciple Jesus loved" in his own Gospel and who wrote some of the greatest words on Love in his epistles) is one of my favorite New Testament characters. But Peter was actually thinking of the famous Christian mystic, St. John of the Cross, who wrote the poem, Dark Night of the Soul. We kind of liked the way the two names sounded together although we knew they were both pretty unusual and together might just be a bit too much. Now they both just seem perfect to me - perfect to the situation, perfect to our son.

I don't really know what else to write at this point. Peter is home from work, I need to wake Eden up from her nap. We need to get dinner ready, wash dishes, do laundry. At some point I really need to get some more unpacking done.

We won't be putting together a nursery now. I have no idea what the future holds but can't imagine a situation in which a nursery would be of any use for well over a year at the very least. I don't say this out of some sort of gloomy negativity, but it is always possible that we may never have another need for a nursery. That's something that my heart, for its own protection, needs to remain open to.

Overall, we are in a better place that we were the last time this happened. We know what to expect. As much as anyone can, I know the road that lies before me. I hate it. I do. I so hate to be here again, to keep waking up to this same nightmare, this same grief, this same weight. But, I also have a tired, battered confidence that we will make it through. We will take one step after the next. We will bear it. And there will be a day when I will wake up and my first thought, my first very sensation, won't be of what I have lost.

I don't want to go on too long. I know people who have suffered much more than me and who have been and are so beautifully graceful in their grief. That is not me. I don't have any great or profound thoughts. I just want to get up and do the best I can with this moment. And the moment after that. And the moment after that. I know I am not alone. I know my Savior is with me. Sometimes He feels very close. More often right now, honestly, He feels a bit remote. But we've been down this road before together, and I trust Him. I know who He is. I know He loves me. He has not left me now. I know it is His mercies that get me through every moment. And I'm so thankful for that and thankful for what He will yet do.

There's No Place Like Your Own Place

We are officially in our new home!

And it is lovely. Very definitely still a work in progress, but lovely just the same. Despite this, Eden keeps informing me how much she loves the "gray house" (our old apartment) and even asked a few days ago if we could move her stuff back there. Every time we drive by the old place (which kind of makes it sound like a farm three generations of our ancestors were raised in instead of a rather smelly apartment that we lived in for 7 months without ever fully unpacking) we must all wave and say hello to the gray house.

I'm wondering when this will end. I predict about the time that Eden realizes our new house comes with a yard.

It snowed on the morning of our move. I had heard something about "flurries," but we woke up to a good 2-3 inches, with another inch or so coming down during the few hours it took us to move our stuff from the apartment to the house in the back of several pickup trucks. Despite this bit of unexpected drama, the process went very smoothly, thanks to the help of many friends. And it only took about a day for our mattress (the item that seemed to suffer the most from a little snow exposure) to dry out.

The home renovations weren't 100% complete at the time of the move, so we've been unpacking in stages as projects are finished. I'm hoping that things will mostly be in place by the end of February. And even though there is still a bit of chaos, I can definitely state that it is so much nicer to be all in one house again. Now, even if Peter is working on the house until 10 pm, he is just downstairs (or upstairs or wherever) instead of across town. It's really quite amazing the difference that makes. And even though there are still boxes in every room it seems that something new gets "put away" every day. In fact, this whole moving in process feels a lot like the very slow change from Winter to Spring that we are simultaneously experiencing. Even though some days seem just as overcast and chilly as the day before, I know that each one brings us inevitably closer to sunshine and warmth. And then there are the dramatically different days where it is obvious that Spring will be here before we know it. It makes me happy and gives me a little more strength to be patient. The worst is behind us!

So, life in our house at the moment: 1) looking forward to being settled in our new home, 2) looking forward to Spring, and 3) so very thankful for both!

P.S. I feel like I owe you all pictures. A lot of pictures. Not just of the house in all its stages (which would be enough), but also of the last few months of our lives. I would like to promise that this will happen, but frankly, it takes 800 bajillion hours to load a bunch of photos into blogger. Also, some patience. It is hard to come up with 800 bajillion hours. It is much harder to come up with the patience. But, for you, I will try. Try. It will probably be best if you keep your expectations low.

60(ish) days in 60 seconds

Okay, it's been a lot more than 60 days! Whatever! (Can I still say that? Do people still say that? What if I don't make the W symbol with my hands while saying it, would that mean it's still cool?)

Welcome to the I-just-can't-skip-over-a-couple-months-without-feeling-guilty post. Which might also be another glimpse into my OCD(ish!) leanings.

In short, here's what you've missed in the life of this crazy family over the last few months:

October:

• Our good friend Shanelle visited!
• For Halloween Eden dressed up as Curious George and Pete dressed up as The Man in the Yellow Hat. I was Professor Wiseman. We went to a Trunk-or-Treat at our church. It was kind of a disaster. (That is, our little family was a disaster - not the church event.)

November:

• Pete and I had a quick get-away to Pere Marquette State Park. I think. I can't find any evidence of this on the calendars, but I seem to remember it happening...
• Peter flew to California for about 5 days to speak at an ACSI conference. Eden and I were lonely but survived.
• We spent another couple of days at Pere Marquette with the rest of the church staff and their families for a staff retreat.
  
• Peter was the speaker for the Fall Renewal Weekend at our church, speaking 5 times over three days. He did a great job.
  
• We spent Thanksgiving Day with Peter's family in Kansas City and then the following Saturday with my family in St. Louis.

December:

• We made an ultimately-successful offer on a house! At some point in the previous few weeks we had actually made unsuccessful offers on two other houses, so this really felt like a reason to celebrate (and also a bit surreal).
• A seemingly endless procession of house-related inspections, tests, decisions, and paperwork kicked into gear.
  
• Eden got her first round of stomach-flu.
• I spent 24 hours feeling pretty miserable myself (aches, fever, exhaustion) but counted myself lucky to have escaped the vomiting. Sadly...
  
• I got the stomach flu on Christmas Eve. I did not escape the vomiting. I did, however, miss the Christmas Eve service at church, as well as Eden unwrapping and enjoying many of her presents. Boo. To. That.
  
• We spent Christmas Day at my brother's house in St. Louis with most of my immediate family as well as my maternal grandparents. (I was in quarantine on the love seat.) I did get to see Eden unwrap an avalanche of presents from all her generous relatives. I think she may now own some version of every toy ever made.
• We spent several more days at my other brother's house in St. Louis, generally hanging out and recovering from a busy month. It is so nice to live around family again.
• We did a kid swap with my brother and his wife - watching their son for 24 hours so they could see a movie and enjoy some time to themselves and then leaving Eden with them for the next 24 hours so that we could do the same. We saw True Grit, ate sushi, and slept in. I cannot begin to express how wonderful this was.
  
• We went to see Peter's family in Kansas City for New Year's Eve/Day. I left the party early to tuck Eden into bed but stayed up so I could see the ball drop on television. Unfortunately, I got distracted by a movie on another channel (true confessions: it was The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants**) and didn't remember to click back over until 3 minutes after the ball had completed its descent. Perhaps as payback for this stupidity my body refused to go to sleep until 4 o'clock in the morning.

January:

• We were delighted with a brief visit from some of our favorite people in the world, the Shive family.
• I got the stomach flu again.
• We closed on our house! Oh happy day!
• The real work began as we decided to do a few, small renovations before moving in at the end of the month.
• Our renovation project list went from 1) refinishing the bedroom floors to, 2)refinishing the bedroom floors, upstairs landing, and stairs, to, 3) refinishing all the floors in the house except for the kitchen and bathroom to, 4) refinishing all the floors except for the kitchen and bathroom and knocking out (and then partially rebuilding) a wall. Oh and we're also going to repaint half the house. And sell our stove so that we can have a gas range instead of an electric one.
• It snowed a gazillion inches and now isn't supposed to get above freezing for another week. This may or may not be causing the slow erosion of my soul. But Eden made her first (and second) snowman!
  

Renovations are only halfway completed and only three boxes have been packed, but in theory we're moving next weekend!

And now you're all caught up.

**The tagline for this movie is: "Laugh. Cry. Share the pants." Yes, I am serious. I am so ashamed.

What I Love About the Midwest (Part 2)

Apple picking!
I guess it doesn't hurt that the house we lived in the longest during my childhood (also by far my favorite house) had an apple orchard just beyond the backyard.

Just a week or so ago (see! I'm catching up again on posts! we've just jumped from Labor Day weekend to last week!) Pete and Eden and I headed up to Eckert's for a day o' family fun. Since it was a Friday, not all of the attractions were up and running (aka no pony rides), but it was also much less crowded and we didn't have to pay for anything. And it was even more fun than I expected! There was a kids' area with a big wooden play structure, tire swings, and lots of animals, a country store, and of course, apple orchards and a large pumpkin patch. Eden loved it all, especially the wagon ride (behind A TRACTOR) and the apple picking. I was surprised how much she liked picking the apples actually. She was very into deciding whether an apple was a "good one" or "yucky," and she loved putting them into our bag.

I think the pictures sum up the day best and there are quite a few of them, so enjoy!
Unsurprisingly, this is the first structure Eden wanted to climb in the play area.

Chickens! (Really, I promise they are there. Normal-sized, living chickens, mind you, not just big wooden ones.)

Goats!

Pigs!

The same pigs! (They warrant two pictures because they were adorable. Don't you judge me!)

And see! Here's a second picture of the goats as well. They were not as adorable. But they had this contraption in their pen that supposedly they climb up from time to time. I'm not sure why - perhaps so they can get a good look at their adorable neighbors. But I have to say, we did not witness any goat climbing while we were there. Makes me wonder if Eckert's is trying to pull a fast one.

Camel! Yeah, I'm confused on this one too.

Tortoise! Also a slightly confusing barnyard choice. But fortunate, as Eden is a big fan of tortoises.

She will tell you that they come from the "Glop-a-gose."

I love this kid.

This is practically the only picture where they are both looking at the camera. Punks.

Pun'kin.

Here comes the tractor and wagon to take us to the orchards.

Fun fact about Eden: often when she's really enjoying something she gets a very serious look on her face instead of smiling. She's done this every since she was a baby. I think it's because she's really focusing and concentrating? I don't know. But lots of experience makes me say with confidence that she is feeling much happier than she appears in the above photo.

Almost to the orchard!

And here is just a long sequence of Eden helping pick apples. I know I should have cut some of these pictures to make it shorter... but I couldn't.

Thank you, Eckert's! Eden still wants to know when we're going back to the farm.