We just got back from a week in California. We flew out on Thursday, the day after my newest nephew, Elias (Eli) Jack Wiedlocher was born. Eden did very well on the plane (for which some credit must definitely be given to the creators of Wall-E and Smarties). Since we had seen that the weather was about to get a little chilly and rainy (for almost the exact duration of our stay) we took advantage of the sunshine on Friday morning and headed to the beach. As you already know, Eden has been talking about the beach since before Christmas. I'm happy to report that reality seemed to live up to her expectations - to say that she had a good time would be an incredible understatement. She loved every second of it. We dug holes in the sand and buried ourselves, we built castles, we found sea shells, and Eden and Pete even took on the freezing cold Pacific Ocean and spent time playing in the waves. She cried when we left. She asked to go back almost every day after that. Unfortunately, the weather forecast turned out to be pretty accurate so we weren't able to return. But I'm glad she had so much fun. It was definitely a great morning and probably my favorite memory of the whole trip. It was also great to see many of our friends. We spent almost every moment of the rest of our week hanging out with friends and eating. Seriously. Luz and Patrick's wedding was awesome - Pete did a great job officiating his first wedding ceremony, and Eden did a great job looking cute and getting covered in dirt. The wedding reception was catered by some delicious taco place, and we got to pig out on carneasada and rice and beans and guacamole and horchata and holy moly do I love Mexican food. Luz was beautiful, the newlyweds were adorable, and we were so glad to get to celebrate with them. We hung out with many more friends over the next several days, and continued to eat our way through Southern California, making stops for In-N-Out, sushi, Starbucks (multiple times), Intelligentsia, Jamba Juice, Baja Fresh, and afternoon tea at The Chado Tea Room. Sadly, I never made it to Rubios for my favorite fish taco, but I guess that just means we'll have to plan a return trip soon.
Thank you so much to all of our friends who hosted us and took us out for dinner and cooked us meals and made time in your schedules to come see us and let us borrow your vehicles, etc. We were so glad to see all of you and spend a little time in the city where Eden was born and where we spent eight years of our lives. At one point, as we were driving home from a restaurant after a great dinner with friends, we pulled up to an intersection just a few blocks from our old apartment - and intersection I've probably sat at a hundred times - and for a fleeting second I had the feeling of, "oh good, we're almost home." But we weren't of course - home is in a new place now: in a house instead of an apartment, in a small town instead of a major city, in a region of green grass and spring thunderstorms instead of desert and mountains and ocean. I love our new home, and I was so very glad to come back to it yesterday, but I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Pasadena and Southern California. I wish I could somehow live in both places at once, and I most definitely wish that we could always live surrounded by all of our friends. But I'm so thankful for the memories we made on this trip.
And I'm so, so thankful that I get to be with these two, wherever they are:
So, how do you go about summing up the change from one life to another in a silly little blog post?
I would really like to know.
On June 28th, just a little over three weeks ago, I stood on Californian soil (or, you know, on the concrete with which it is covered) and looked at the spot on our living room floor where Eden took her first steps. I thought about bringing her home from the hospital to that apartment. About the corner where her bassinet used to stand by our bed. I remembered working on my master's degree at the table, typing papers and completing assignments in the early hours of many mornings. I remembered friends coming over to celebrate the completion of my degree and my first job as an official librarian. We decorated sugar cookies. And we were with the same friends in the same apartment at the same table when I carved my first pumpkin. I looked at the kitchen and recalled the night I chased Pudge around that room with a Kleenex box stuck on his head, carefully cradling a sleeping baby in one arm, knowing even then that it was one of those moments that would be very funny later. And I looked at the little bathroom that stood, tucked across the hall from our door and remembered sadness and fear and the grief that came with my first real loss. So many life-changing events and daily ordinariness all bundled up together in one little space.
Today I am sitting in another little apartment. It is new to me. I look out the window and see a beautiful tree, green leaves bobbing and swaying in the breeze. It is beautiful, and I'm thankful for it and glad to see it, glad to live next to it. But it is also new. The van that I drive Eden to and from the park in is new. The park is new. It has two huge play structures and swings and a bicycling/running path and a little lake with geese (!). But the grass turns swampy after storms and the humidity drives us indoors after too long. That weather - the thunderstorms and the humidity and the gorgeous clouds - is new to us. New enough, at any rate. The town is new. I've found Target and the grocery stores but nothing is where I expect it and a surprising number of brands are missing or unfamiliar. Peter's job is new and our church is new and the people are WONDERFUL, but they are still strangers. Certainly not enemies, but somehow, still, not quite friends. Not yet.
I daily see little to dislike and so much to love and yet I find myself wanting to shed all this "new" and instead pull on the old comfy familiarity of my old home and my friends-whom-I-can-call-friends and my routines and my life. If only I could figure out where it is in this new home with everything put away but still out of place.
A friend recently posted the following quote on her facebook account: "There is no growth without change, no change without loss, and no loss without pain."
I sit quietly and think about that.
Outside the leaves keeps dancing and the grass is so thick and green. It is new yet. But I am still thankful for it. So thankful for the new and the old, for the growth and the change, for having once found things that are good enough to hurt when you lose them and for knowing that there is still more goodness yet to be found, here, in this new place.
As promised, here are a few photos from day 2 of our 10th anniversary trip to San Diego - all taken at the one and only San Diego Zoo.
Eden's first petting zoo experience.
I highly recommend that you enlarge the third photo in the above series. Eden is, what at least one parenting book refers to as, "assertive." I'm not sure exactly what she was about to unleash on this poor innocent boy for touching her hippo, but I'm glad Peter was there to stop it.
We might have been kicked out of the Zoo forever.
One of the things I really love about the San Diego Zoo is that many of the enclosures are designed to allow you a chance to get right up next to the animals (if they so choose) without bars or moats in the way. The tiger enclosure has several walls made of very thick Plexiglas-like material. When we first stopped by one of these enclosures, nobody else was crowding around so we let Eden out of her stroller so that she could get a good look at the tiger standing at the top of a little hill.
This apparently gave the tiger a chance for a good look at Eden as well. He decided to mosey on down...
Eden called the tiger "Sheba."
I'm pretty sure the tiger was looking at Eden and thinking "snack." Thank goodness for Plexiglas.
Ah, San Diego. We love you and will always think of you with great affection.
I think we're okay with leaving "Sheba" behind though.
We went on a 10th anniversary trip to San Diego. Then I forgot to tell you all about it.
The End.
Kidding! I guess I really did completely forget to post about it though, which is surprising because we had an incredibly fun time. I think, perhaps, that we had so much fun that I just forgot about everything else entirely, and then it was back to work and laundry and last minute trips and it just slipped completely off my radar.
I was actually downloading pictures off my camera in preparation for an entirely different post when I saw all the photos from our anniversary shindig, and it crossed my mind that maybe I had never actually done anything with those pictures or told anyone about our Great Adventure.
Well, for a short time many months ago we were planning a trip to Hawaii to celebrate the big event, but then the earthquake in Haiti happened just as I was beginning my exploration of what it could mean to live a non-consumeristic life - a life that was about giving, not taking. And I knew that if I wanted to even begin living a life like that there was no way I could spend a chunk of money just to go to Hawaii for a few days while one of the worst disasters in modern history was playing out right in front of my eyes. It really was an important decision for me personally at that moment. Sort of an are-you-really-serious-about-this-or-just-full-of-hot-air moment. Honestly, I knew that for my own sake I needed to put my money where my mouth is (er, was).
So, we donated the money we would have spent on/in Hawaii to the relief efforts in Haiti and that was that.**
Except that we have awesome friends. Friends who decided that 10th anniversaries should be celebrated in special ways, regardless of whether or not they are celebrated in Hawaii.
Thus in early April, at the end of Pete's spring break, we got to spend a night (just the two of us!) in a really nice hotel in Pasadena, and then the next day we got to pick up Eden and drive her down to San Diego where we spent another night in a hotel right by the harbor AND got to go to the San Diego Zoo (one of my favorite places) the next morning before driving home.
It was so much fun! We thoroughly enjoyed the trip and will we remember it for a long time.
And now for pictures!! I actually don't have any from the hotel that we stayed at on the first night, which is too bad because it was really beautiful. But I have a ton from our time in San Diego - so many in fact, that I might actually split this post up in two.
So, without further ado, here are photos from the first day we arrived (with photos of our trip to the Zoo coming tomorrow):
This is what our hotel looked like from the back. Isn't it pretty? It was right on a canal (or some sort of waterway) that led into San Diego Harbor. There were a lot of hotels in a row along this canal and there was a very pretty running/walking/bicycling path that ran in between all the hotels and the water. Gorgeous!
Looking left from the back of the hotel.
Looking right from the back of the hotel. It's very hard to see when the photo is this small, but can you spot the tiny bit of red next to the building in the very back, directly above the boat?
That is this - the tail of a cruise ship departing from San Diego Harbor!
The walking/bicycling path in front of our hotel also ran along the harbor, so we went for a little walk that evening before dinner.
Eden loved the boats and the water. Being a child, and just herself, she also greatly enjoyed throwing things.
Here she is looking for something good to throw.
Found some leaves - back to the water!
Good times.
But little did Eden know that heaven-on-earth was just around the corner...
Here I present to you A Playground. On a Beach. Next to Water with Big Boats. And (although you can't see it) within view of a freeway with Big Trucks and even the occasional Big Bus. Meanwhile, we are close enough to the airport that Big Planes would often be just overhead. I thought Eden was going to explode from happiness.
Unfortunately, there is a limit to earthly happiness. Especially when your mom is too busy taking pictures to be at the bottom of the slide to catch you. (She's gone down a slide safely 100 times before, people!)
This is probably a truly terrible thing to say, but I wish I could zoom in on this picture (like I can on my camera) so that you could see the perplexed look on her face right before she sails off the end of that slide, backwards and going at a nice clip, into the sand.
If it makes you feel any better, I felt horrendously guilty.
That did not stop us from sending her down the slide again, of course.
Before you call the authorities, I would just like to add...
She had a really, really good time.
Thank you so much friends-who-want-to-remain-anonymous!! It was wonderful!
**Peter and I actually used our donated money to start a little competition with the kids at his school. Each class competed against each other and against the faculty to see who could raise the most money for Haiti - with the result that Peter was actually able to send a little over $10,000 to a large relief organization working in Haiti. That did my heart good. :)
Also updated my blog roll - lots of new mommy blogs to browse for those who care and have the time. On an administrative note, I'm currently in the process of trying to update my labels so that they're consistent across the blog (can you say O.C.D.?). I'm hoping republishing those old posts won't cause them to reappear in your reader (if you use one). If so - my apologies! They are not new and the content of the posts themselves has not been edited. I feel like I should also create and post an "About Me" section - it's always the first thing I read when I'm browsing a new blog, and I get kind of miffed if it's missing - but for some reason writing one feels about as fun as scrubbing the broiler pan after fish night. I don't know why.
Summer is here! We're off to Hollywood today! More about that later.
So I think that I might have built The News up a little too much.
I think this because I'm realizing that the vast majority of you already know what The News is, either because we've had a direct conversation about it or because you're facebook friends with Pete.
So now, when I post it on my blog with a dramatic ta-daaa and jazz hands, you are going to be seriously disappointed. I apologize for this. But in my defense, I think you'll agree that it is all social networking's fault. Facebook + secrets/surprises = no bueno.
Anyway, without further ado:
Peter got a job as an associate pastor in Illinois! My last day as a librarian was Wednesday! In less than a month we will say goodbye to Southern California (our home for the last 8 years!) and move our daughter, two cats, and all our worldly possessions to we-don't-know-exactly-where-just-yet!
Ta-DAAAA!!! [insert jazz hands, fireworks, something surprising here]
Well, I feel better at least.
Here's the back story:
We never intended to settle in SoCal. In fact, I think we both assumed that we'd move back to the Midwest as soon as Peter graduated from seminary. That was five years ago. We talked about it many times and even came very close to just picking up and moving a couple of times. But "things" just never seemed quite right. There was always something left to finish here, for one or both of us.
Until last fall. Then, all of a sudden, we both just felt like it was time to go. Nothing really happened that made us feel that way, at least not for me. We just suddenly felt confident that this chapter of our life was finished. So we decided to move as soon as Pete's school year was over. And in January, when the Intent to Return forms were circulated among the faculty at Pete's school, he officially informed his supervisor and co-workers that he wouldn't be back.
At the time, neither of us had jobs lined up or even any sort of certainty about where in the Midwest we should move to. But then, with little to no effort, things began clicking into place. The next thing we knew, Pete had interviews scheduled with a church just across the Mississippi from St. Louis (where my brothers live). And again, early on we felt a confidence that this was the right choice for us and the right place for us. (Perhaps a little too early on, since the length of time between our readiness and the official job offer started to feel like an eternity by the end - thus inspiring my waiting-is-for-the-birds post.)
And now the waiting is over, the plans are made, and we are just tidying up the details (the seemingly endless details) required to move halfway across the country and start a new life.
Eden and I will fly out of LAX on June 28th. Pete will follow on the 30th in the moving truck.
We won't be here to see the Fourth of July fireworks at the Rose Bowl, or celebrate Eden's second birthday with all of her dear friends, or welcome the new school year. We won't get to laugh at the crazies lining Colorado Boulevard on New Year's Eve or watch the flyover before the kick-off at the Rose Bowl Game on New Year's Day. I won't ever help another patron find a book in the beautiful maze that is the Pasadena Central Library.
I'm sad.
But also, crazy, crazy happy. And excited. Because I'm hopefully going to see Fourth of July fireworks with my family. And we're going to celebrate Eden's second birthday with her grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles and cousin and new friends in a new town where the grass grows green without the help of water piped in from other states and where lightning bugs and stars illuminate the evening instead of helicopter search lights and miles and miles and miles of city.
Once again I am reminded. It's a mudluscious and puddlewonderful world we live in, friends.
I apologize for not updating the blog in awhile. Peter had two weeks off of work for the holidays, and we were busy enjoying as much family time as possible. We didn't travel anywhere for Christmas or New Year's but instead spent a nice, quiet, peaceful holiday at home. We missed family, but it was wonderful not having the stress of traveling with a baby. I was so sad when it was all over, and Peter had to head back to work. We'd had such a wonderful time!
Anyway, I don't really feel that motivated to post all the little details of what we did each day, and I doubt it would be that interesting to you. But everyone likes photos, so here are a few that highlight our holiday experience:
Eden in her Christmas dress. (This was taken right before we went to the staff holiday party at my library, at which Eden badly scratched my eye with her fingernail causing it to sting and water for the rest of the day. I think we had to leave after we'd only been there about 15 minutes.) Sadly, I have almost no photos of Christmas day. Instead I have a 20 minute video of Eden "unwrapping" her presents. This was a big mistake as trying to upload said video to my computer almost killed it. Also, to put the video on YouTube so that I could add a link here for those interested (aka, Gramma) would probably take an entire day if it didn't first finish killing off my computer in the process. Lesson learned: take a series of short videos in the future instead of one ridiculously long one. Even better: just take pictures so that the obnoxious sound of my own voice is not recorded for posterity. (On a side note, I recently discovered that I only have 2 GBs of unused memory left on my computer. The rest is largely taken up with photos of Eden. Around 3500+. Yikes.)
The only photo from Christmas day showing both Eden and our Christmas tree: One of my favorite things about living in Pasadena is all the hoopla around New Year's. I love the crowds of people sleeping on the sidewalk the night before the Rose Parade, the parade itself, the beautiful floats, the Rose Bowl Game, and all the excitement that these activities bring to the city. We always try to walk down to Colorado Boulevard on New Year's Eve to see the revelers camped out all along the street. I brought my camera with me this year, but it was too dark to get any good shots (and I felt weird about turning my flash on and thus making it abundantly obvious that I was taking pictures of people).
The two dark figures in the front are Peter (pushing Eden's stroller) and our friend, Megan: Again, it's tough to make out, but the sidewalks are packed with people on both sides of the street. (And keep in mind that the parade route is about 5 miles long.) On the walk back to our apartment, I took this picture of City Hall: On the morning of New Year's Day, we had a relaxed breakfast then walked back down to Colorado Boulevard with Eden to see part of the parade. Here's a photo of the crowd as well as a float (a trolley car made of flowers) making its way down the street: This is a view of the opposite direction, back toward our apartment. The building you see at the end of the street, right before the mountains, is my library: We probably spent 30 to 45 minutes watching the parade, and without a doubt, I can tell you Eden's favorite part.
It wasn't the zebras or giraffes... ...or the dragon... ...or the beautiful balloons. Nope. None of those.
What did Eden point out to us over, and over, and over again? This. That's right. The Goodyear Blimp.
We take Eden to see one of the most visually stunning parades in the United States, and she becomes obsessed with the Goodyear Blimp. Would you like to guess what Eden's second favorite part of the parade was? Actually, I think it was a dog some guy had in a carrier behind us, but the jet flyover was a hit as well.
On our walk home, we passed the police command center set up in front of the library. On New Year's Eve, the area was swarming with people in uniform, but by this time on the First it was pretty empty - I suppose they had all dispersed to their various posts. And that's about it!
Actually, last night was another big event here in Pasadena - the BCS National Championship Game. We took several walks yesterday in Old Town, through the crowds of Texas and Alabama fans, but I didn't have my camera with me to take any pictures. I guess that was the last of the holiday-related excitement until next year.
Here are two people I am very, very happy to be going into the year 2010 with: Happy New Year everyone! May both this new year and this new decade be full of peace and joy for all of you! And may you have every good thing that your heart desires, with perhaps a few unexpected good things thrown in as well.
